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08.25.08
Posted in Life, Movies, Sports, JD at 12:43 pm by jd
If nothing else, lets be clear on this one point: I don’t smoke. While we’re at it, let me jump on a soapbox and say this: You shouldn’t smoke either. I like the view from up here so I’ll say a few more things.
* Is there any bigger irony than a firefighter going on a smoke break?
* If coffee stunts your growth, shouldn’t Ritalin make you taller?
* After a hard day, two Parrot Bay Coolers just won’t cut it.
* Lebron has officially surpassed Kobe as the best player on the planet.
* As far as deep fried things go, you could do worse than General Tso’s Chicken.
Has anyone else noticed that Heath Ledger’s performance in Dark Knight is being way over blown because of his prescription drug mishap? Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy, thought he was great in 10 Things I Hate About You and I think he was nothing short of outstanding in the new (and quite literally) “Dark” film. I still just think he’s closer to some MTV Movie Popcorn for Best Villain than to a posthumous Oscar. It’s really hard to beat Jack at what he does, and Heath did just that, but lets be realistic.
While we’re being realistic, the Trail Blazers invited Luke Jackson into their training camp. That trail flamed out when he hung up his Green and Gold Oregon sneakers. Cavs beat writer Bob Finnan (who The Diesel, Tommy Boy and I may or may not have seen in Vegas at the Summer League and, in related news, is a lying bastard) still thinks he can play despite having been in and out of the league at best for two seasons. To paraphrase Finnan, “If he can get healthy and a long enough look, he’ll be a solid contributer to an NBA Franchise.” Please Bob, he’s no Jason Kapono.
I could not get through my day without morning coffee, but I’ve come to realize that Folgers has long since NOT been the “best part of waking up.” CVS in Northern Ohio is selling two week supplies of the stuff for $2.99! Don’t get me wrong, I’m drinking it, but I’d rather dip into the Peet’s, Starbuck’s or Dunkin.
Last but not least, today is the day that my longtime one and only pet will be put to sleep. She’s been great and I wanted to mention her because it has definitely been a rough decision and is going to be even worse when we go to the Vet later. We’ll miss you, Phoebe.
See you somewhere soon, I hope.
Be well.
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06.27.08
Posted in Movies, The Diesel at 10:49 pm by Diesel The
So Entertainment Weekly decided to celebrate its 1000th issue with, shock of shocks, a series of lists commemorating the “new classics” in entertainment from the past 25 years. Also, shock of shocks, they got things almost completely wrong. Especially when it comes to movies, music, and television (the other lists I can let slide).
The most egregious oversight (I hope it was just an oversight) was that, not only did they fail to put The Shawshank Redemption at #1 on the movie list (“which can be understood, if not condoned”), but they omitted the movie from the list entirely! As an avid consumer of pop culture over the past 25 years (essentially, my lifetime), I can say for certain that The Shawshank Redemption defines what it means to be a “new classic.”
Is it universally recognized as a superior creative work? Absolutely. Is it beloved by the populous at large? No doubt. Can it be watched again and again, whether on HBO, TNT, or DVD? Hell yeah. Has it found its way into the culture, both popular and otherwise, in a meaningful way? If articles written by ESPN’s The Sports Guy can be used as evidence, absolutely. And this is without mentioning the intangibles.
The movie, despite a Best Picture nomination, was largely ignored by the public at large when first released to theaters. Upon its release on video, however, and with little fanfare, it built up a loyal cult following and word of mouth kept it alive. I would argue that it is now one of the most universally beloved films, not just of the past 25 years, but of all time. Its omission is so much of an oversight that it prompted me to get off my ass and write another blog post. That’s how much this matters to me. “This aggression will not stand, man.” The tyranny and bullshit must end.
So, here is my unsolicited critique of EW’s bullshit list of “new classic” movies.
TV and music will follow later in the week.
Yes, I’m going through all 100. Buckle up.
1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
Excellent movie. Should be on the list. #1? Maybe not. But still influential, quotable, and entertaining as all hell.
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
Very good trilogy. The warts start to show on multiple viewings, though (or if you sat through King Kong). Still, I agree it’s a new classic.
3. Titanic (1997)
Eh. Hugely popular doesn’t necessarily make something a classic (see: Backstreet Boys), but in this case it kind of does. I have to admit, I haven’t seen the movie since first seeing it in the theaters back in ‘97. And I liked it. So why is it I’ve never had any desire to see it again? Shouldn’t that be a “classic” prerequisite? Rewatchability?
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
I’ve never seen it. I’m guessing this is true for most people out there. Again, shouldn’t a certain universality be a prerequisite for a new classic?
5. Toy Story (1995)
Great movie. I probably liked the sequel better. Then again, Pixar has yet to make a bad movie. Which is insane. So they definitely deserve a spot on the list and since this is the one that started it all, I’m okay with it as the choice.
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Should be in contention for #1. Yeah, some cynics out there bemoan the bookends with the old man, but I have no problem with it. Outstanding movie.
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
Um, I like Woody Allen as much as the next guy, but #7? And I’d argue that Bullets over Broadway is his best since the 70s. Although I also liked Match Point quite a bit (just me?).
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
Holds up very well (except for maybe Jodie Foster’s hair style). No arguments here.
9. Die Hard (1988)
I’m pleasantly surprised by how high on the list this is. Hugely influential and just a down right entertaining film. Take any heterosexual male to Los Angeles and one of the highlights is seeing the actual “Nakatomi Building” in Century City (actually Fox Plaza). No matter what, when this is on TV, I stop and watch.
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
Hmmm… I think this is one of those movies that is going to divide people. One fellow film industry member of mine said this is the movie that got him to quit being a lawyer and move to LA to go to film school. I, on the other hand, just thought it was okay.
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
Defines a classic. Still quotable and rewatchable all these years later. “Hello, Cleveland!” Indeed.
12. The Matrix (1999)
Good pick, great movie, horrible sequels. Kind of the next step in the action movie evolution Die Hard started.
13. GoodFellas (1990)
Classic. Nuff said.
14. Crumb (1995)
Um, raise your hand if you’ve seen this movie. I thought so. It could be the greatest movie ever, but if nobody ever saw it, it can’t be a classic. Sorry. It does get bonus points for being from the director of Bad Santa. Speaking of which, why didn’t that make the list!?
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Very good, from what I remember. Probably the best representation of Tim Burton’s oeuvre. Personally, I’m partial to Ed Wood (or even Big Fish - yeah it’s sentimental, but in a good way), but this works too. #15 is probably too high.
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
Big cult hit. I preferred Magnolia from the PT Anderson oeuvre, but I’m fine with its inclusion. I guess PT doesn’t really do it for me. Punch Drunk Love was pretty good too. None I’d call a classic. So I guess for the sake of the people who do “get it” I’m cool with Boogie Nights.
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)
Way too high. Almost Famous is a much better Cameron Crowe film that holds up much better on repeated viewings. I guess this can make the list, though, because it really did enter the pop culture consciousness. But, eh…
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
Even though I haven’t seen this movie, I’m okay with its inclusion because, how haven’t I seen this movie!? I’m told it’s outstanding.
19. Casino Royale (2006)
Very good Bond movie. Best in awhile. Some really cool scenes. But probably shouldn’t be on this list at all. The ending was pretty lousy too. “3rd Act problems” as they say in the business…
20. The Lion King (1994)
Again, classic. The Disney animation renaissance of the early 90s needed to be represented and this is probably the best choice. I’m more of an Aladdin fan, myself, but I’ll defer to the masses.
21. Schindler’s List (1993)
Can’t argue with this. Should also be a #1 contender.
22. Rushmore (1998)
Not a fan. Not much of a Wes Anderson fan at all, I guess. I did enjoy The Royal Tennenbaum’s, but this movie did nothing for me. I was pretty much bored the whole time. I do still enjoy the stupid joke “They’re O.R. scrubs. O R they?” This shouldn’t be on the list at all. Sorry, Wes.
23. Memento (2001)
This was one of the places EW surprised me in a good way. I was all set to be upset that this didn’t make the list. But it did. They decided to make much more egregious omissions, but we’ll get to that in due time. This is one of my all-time favorites. Incredibly unique and outstanding in every way. I saw the damn thing three times in the theaters because I had to make sure everyone I knew saw it. It didn’t make its way into the popular consciousness like some of the other movies, so a #1 ranking is out. But glad to see it on the list.
24. A Room With a View (1986)
Shouldn’t remembering a movie ever existed also be a prerequisite for a “classic”?
25. Shrek (2001)
I have no problem with Shrek. Very fun and entertaining, though #25 is probably high.
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
I’m told this is outstanding and I hear it referenced quite a bit. I guess I should see it before I make any further comment. But for now I’m cool with its inclusion.
27. Aliens (1986)
“Game over, man.” Great movie. No complaints.
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
Is this a joke? Does ANYONE remember this movie at all? Didn’t they remake it into that Nic Cage/Meg Ryan Goo Goo Dolls debacle?
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
Which Bourne movie is this again? I get them mixed up. Whatever, they were all good. Definitely one deserved inclusion.
30. When Harry Met Sally… (1989)
On TV all the time, text book “new classic.”
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Haven’t seen it yet. But it has achieved enough to be included.
32. Fight Club (1999)
Borderline, but no arguments from me.
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)
As the 80s teen representative, sure, why not? Better than Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles. But maybe this spot should have gone to Say Anything? Or maybe they both should have made it? Thoughts? Comments?
34. Fargo (1996)
Great movie. Not nearly as rewatchable or as enjoyable as The Big Lebowski. So where is that on the list?
35. The Incredibles (2004)
Probably my favorite Pixar film.
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Eh. I’m kind of over the Spider-Man movies. But sure, why not.
37. Pretty Woman (1990)
Not my cup of tea, but it wasn’t awful and it definitely has made its mark.
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
Very good movie. But a new classic? Not so much. Of the Charlie Kaufmann crazy flicks, I prefer Being John Malkovich.
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)
I guess so. But you can only watch it once. And M. Night Shamalamadingdong’s recent output has, for better or for worse, made me look back with a much less kind eye to this one.
40. Speed (1994)
Another shocking inclusion. I wouldn’t have thought of it, but this is a pretty damn good action flick. And very rewatchable. Why not?
41. Dazed and Confused (1993)
Absolutely.
42. Clueless (1995)
Kind of nice to see this right after Dazed and Confused as they are kind of two sides to the same coin. I wasn’t the target audience for this one, but it works.
43. Gladiator (2000)
Still excellent. I have no problem jumping in at any point when I find it on TV. One of TNT’s “new classics” so it must be good.
44. The Player (1992)
Haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard good things. But has it really made its mark on pop culture enough to be a classic?
45. Rain Man (1988)
Definitely Rain Man. Definitely.
46. Children of Men (2006)
Too soon. Very very good film. But it feels like it just came out. We need some time to rewatch and reevaluate before we can dub something “classic.” Besides, I’m not sure the public at large has seen it or even knows about it.
47. Men in Black (1997)
Big dumb movie. Should not be anywhere near this list. Entertaining enough, I guess, but not classic. If you had to go with one of these mid-90s 4th of July Will Smith pictures, I’d argue for Independence Day. You know, the one where an Apple Computer saves the world?
48. Scarface (1983)
Good movie? Check. Quotable? Check. Part of the popular culture? Check. New classic? Check.
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
I liked this a lot. Very cool and influential. Not sure it stayed with the culture enough to be included, but okay. It does lose points for giving Ang Lee the clout to do The Hulk. Unforgivable.
50. The Piano (1993)
Haven’t seen it. No desire to. Next.
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
TOO SOON.
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
Check it out. A Naked Gun movie made it? Sweet. Now where’s Spaceballs?
53. The Truman Show (1998)
Hmmm… not sure about this one. Not a bad movie in the least, but….kind of borderline as a classic.
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
Of course. The fingerprints of this movie are everywhere.
55. Risky Business (1983)
This too. Kind of.
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
I don’t remember this movie at all. So, NEXT.
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
Classic Farrelly Brothers. But Dumb & Dumber also needs to be on this list somewhere.
58. Ghostbusters (1984)
“Cats and Dogs living together! Mass hysteria!” 150% yes.
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
One of the great underrated movies of the 90s. Crazy good. Absolutely should make it.
60. Scream (1996)
Eh. I guess so. Borderline.
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
An 80s Eddie Murphy flick needed to be on here and this is probably his best.
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
In a way, it made Pulp Fiction possible and started the “indie” movement.
63. Big (1988)
Sure. Not my favorite or anything, but I’m okay with its inclusion.
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
TOO SOON. And what was with that pacing and structure? Very good, but…too many buts…
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)
I’m not the demo, but chicks dig the Swayze mullet…
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
Too over the top for me. I’d lean towards Platoon or JFK for Oliver Stone. Seriously, where the hell is Platoon on this list?
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
Solid flick, but again, in what way is it “classic”?
68. Witness (1985)
Harrison Ford + the Amish = classic
69. All About My Mother (1999)
Maybe. But only because Penelope Cruz is smokin’ hot. No, I’ve never seen the movie.
70. Broadcast News (1987)
Really? I forgot this movie existed. Cross it off the list.
71. Unforgiven (1992)
WAY too low. A practically perfect film.
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
Yeah, not one of my favorites, but it made its place in the pop culture canon.
73. Office Space (1999)
Great movie. Definition of a “new classic.”
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
Not so much. Again, if I haven’t seen it or, more importantly, I don’t care that I haven’t seen it, I can’t call it a classic.
75. Out of Africa (1985)
I almost said “see #74,” but the more I think about it, I probably should see this. Sydney Pollack is one of the greats. Was Tootsie ineligible? (Yes.)
76. The Departed (2006)
Also probably too soon. Good, even great movie. But may not hold the test of time like a Goodfellas.
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
Probably worthy. But have enough people seen it? I haven’t.
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
Governor Arnie had to be represented. But why no Kindergarten Cop? “It’s not a TOO-mah!” (kidding)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
Great movie in the Spinal Tap vein. But again, has it been seen enough or entered the pop culture enough to be a “classic”?
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
Also a great movie and I hope it does become a new classic. But it came out, what? Last week? Too soon to tell.
81. Moonstruck (1987)
Any movie starring Cher cannot be a classic in my book. Maybe Mask. Nah. Jim Carrey scared me too badly as a child with that deformed face. Creepy.
82. Lost in Translation (2003)
Yes, the above confusion of The Mask with Jim Carrey and Mask with Cher and Eric Stoltz was intentional. Sorry it wasn’t funnier. Similar to this movie. I thought it was pretty good, but hardly “classic.” Where’s funny Bill Murray? Speaking of which, where is Groundhog Day or even What About Bob? (my Bill Murray guilty pleasure). “Keep sailing, Bob.”
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
Any movie that has spawned about 77 DVD versions deserves its classic status. Bruce Campbell kicks ass.
84. Sideways (2004)
Another good movie. But to paraphrase a sports Hall of Fame argument - its not the Hall of Good. It should be the best of the best. And Sideways just isn’t quite there.
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
Similar argument to #84. Good movie. But didn’t Anchorman or even Superbad become more a part of the pop culture? Actually, I’d argue that Wedding Crashers should have this slot, if it came down to one or the other. And that being the case, Wedding Crashers should also be much higher on the list, if not in the top 10.
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
Your Mom’s a tambien…. I haven’t seen it and I don’t know anyone who has. Or if they have, they haven’t been vocal about it. Amores Perros, with the same actor, would probably be a better choice. But even that didn’t make the pop culture canon.
87. Swingers (1996)
Vegas, Baby. Vegas. Great flick.
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
Watered down a bit by the two sequels, this is still one of the best comedies of the 90s and inarguably a major part of pop culture, still today.
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
I remember EW choosing this as their best film of 1996. I didn’t want to see it then and I don’t want to see it now.
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
One of the funniest poorly made movies I’ve ever seen. The quotes make it worthy.
91. Back to the Future (1985)
WAY TOO LOW. A classic in every way. “You are my density.”
92. Menace II Society (1993)
Shouldn’t this be Boyz N the Hood?
93. Ed Wood (1994)
Mentioned above. Excellent movie. But not really one the average joe on the street would have seen. So the classic status is iffy.
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Heck yeah. Freaked me out as a kid. Plus Kubrick should be represented and Eyes Wide Shut sure as heck wasn’t going to make the list.
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
I didn’t care for this movie, though I know others worship it. I’d say many more have never heard of it. Doesn’t it seem like EW threw some foreign films on the list just to seem “hip”? I’d even argue Life is Beautiful is more deserving than the other foreign films because at least Americans have heard of it and actually went to see it…
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
What? Seriously? This didn’t even make a dent in the pop culture consciousness.
97. Glory (1989)
Outstanding movie and one every high schooler taking American History will watch.
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
One of the worst movies I’ve ever paid to see. For shame. Get it off the list immediately. Matt Damon is still doing penance for this atrocity. Boring. Boring. Boring.
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Definitely made its way into the cultural conversation, but ultimately, is it a good movie? Is it rewatchable? Not so much.
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)
Another “hip” pick, but this one makes a lot more sense. Really really funny.
So it looks like at least 30 of the movies above should be kicked off the list. I do want to be clear: I’m not arguing that they are bad movies, necessarily (I’m looking at you, Men in Black…I mean, really!? REALLY!?). I’m just saying that they’re aren’t “classic” in any realistic sense of the word.
Here are a few that I think were wrongly stricken from the list and, EW endorsement or not, are actual new classics. As EW did, I used 1983 as the cut off. Unlike them, the movie has to be at least a year old to get consideration. These are mostly just off the top of my head, with a little help from the IMDB.
Keep in mind; these aren’t necessarily my personal favorites. They are simply the movies I feel have made their way into the cultural conversation and have a certain baseline of high quality. I’m listing these in no particular order because order is pretty much irrelevant. It’s a yes or no question. Classic? Yup.
These are the most egregious oversights. They all should 100% be on the list, no excuses:
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
The Princess Bride (1987)
The Big Lebowski (1998)
Wedding Crashers (2005)
Major League (1989)
Spaceballs (1987)
The Karate Kid (1984)
Groundhog Day (1993)
The Wedding Singer (1998)
Dumb & Dumber (1994)
The Usual Suspects (1995)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Return of the Jedi (1983)
Braveheart (1995)
Platoon (1986)
The Fugitive (1993)
Field of Dreams (1989)
Aladdin (1992)
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
The Hunt for Red October (1990)
Forrest Gump (1994)
Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
Clerks (1994)
Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)
Finding Nemo (2003)
Now the ones below would get strong consideration for the list, but may not completely fulfill all my criteria. That being said, they all would probably bump at least 35 other movies off the list in a head to head battle (definitely Men in Black):
School of Rock (2003)
Happy Gilmore (1996)
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Batman (1989)
Batman Begins (2005)
Good Will Hunting (1997)
Se7en (1995)
Amadeus (1984)
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)
Heat (1995)
Stand by Me (1986)
A Christmas Story (1983)
Dead Poets’ Society (1989)
Beauty and the Beast (1991)
A Few Good Men (1992)
Shakespeare in Love (1998)
Old School (2003)
Ocean’s Eleven (2001)
Top Gun (1986)
Bad Santa (2003)
Tommy Boy (1995)
X2 (2003)
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
A League of their Own (1992)
Rounders (1998)
Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
American Beauty (1999)
Yes, I tried to sneak Robin Hood by you. It’s a favorite from my childhood. What are you gonna do?
And despite the length of this post, I’m still certain I forgot some. So please, comment away on worthy additions. Or chastise me for getting this horribly wrong. I can take it.
And like I said, we’ve still got their list of television shows and music albums to cover. I’m back, baby! A good time will be had by all…
Stupid EW…
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05.02.08
Posted in Music, Life, Celebrities, Television, Movies, Tommy Boy at 9:21 pm by tommyboy
Dear Diary,
Oh boy, I did lots today. Today was so super. Here is a list of the top eight things I did today:
1. I saw a trailer for Speed Racer today. It was a really cool trailer. I think I want to make a list of the Top 12 trailers of movies based on old cartoons. This would be different from the list I proposed of the top 12 movies based on old cartoons because it would just be about the trailers
2. I had an awesome breakfast. The top five things in my breakfast today, in no particular order, were scrambled eggs, whole wheat toast, crispy bacon, Valencia orange juice, and strawberry jam. I don’t know if it ranks in my top 15 breakfasts of all time, but it certainly ranks in my top nine homemade breakfasts of all time
3. I got in a heated debate about American Idol today with one of my coworkers. She said that David Archuleta was the greatest Idol contestant whose last name ended in a vowel and I said he wouldn’t even crack the top four, what with Fantasia Barrino, Justin Guarini, Bo Bice, and Kimberly Locke. She said nuh-uh, Locke doesn’t end with a vowel and I said yeah-huh. And she was totally better. Remember that song “8th World Wonder.” That has numbers and words. I like numbers and words. It’s almost like a list but not quite
4. I thought of several lists today. The top three lists I thought of were Top 25 Movies featuring veterinarians, Top 15 actors who appeared in Burger King commercials (Elisabeth Shue, I’m thinking you’re up there!), and Top 50 uses of synthesizers in 80s songs. Those are awesome lists.
5. I got home early so I was able to catch up on the TiVo for my favorite show: E’s “The Daily 10.” That show is so cool. It puts entertainment news in list form, which makes it more important to me. They should really do the news news, like the Darfur stuff, you know, in list form. It would make it so much easier to follow.
6. I did a list with Roman numerals instead of numbers, and that was kind of neat. Numbers are better for lists, but Roman numerals are good for a change of pace or if you meet a Roman and you want to speak his language. Letters are OK too, but you’re going have so many letters in the actual list, you should just use numbers. I think it goes, in order, numbers, Roman numerals, letters, and then wingdings. Wingdings are the worst because they’re weird.
7. Someone posted a comment that it was so much better years ago when Entertainment Weekly put out an important list once or twice a year, but I totally nailed that guy. I gave him 20 reasons why daily lists are better than biannual lists and I ordered them from least awesome to most awesome which is the best way to structure a list. It was definitely in the top 75 responses to a reader complaint about our lists of all time. So eat that, hotpants17!
8. I bought an orangutan.
So that was my day. Out of all the days in the week it was definitely in the top 7 
Write to you tomorrow!
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01.23.08
Posted in Celebrities, Music, Life, Television, Movies, News, Sports, Tommy Boy at 7:25 pm by tommyboy
Dr. Phil has been criticized for his involvement in trying to help Britney Spears. Maybe Dr. Phil is an opportunist or maybe he truly cares, but the better question is “Would he help?” Would he be a good doctor for Ms. Spears to visit? So I’ve decided to compile a list of noted doctors. We’ll take a look at how they would treat Britney Spears and whether they would be a Good Doctor or a Bad Doctor.
Dr. Drew Pinsky
Treatment: Bring her into Celebrity Rehab where she can detox and discuss her problems with the guy from Taxi and a couple porn stars.
Analysis: The self-described addictionologist can help wean Britney off her drink of choice – Red Bull, Vodka, and Cherry NyQuil – and get her the medical attention she needs. But more importantly, she can take a look at the has-beens in front of her and improve her self-esteem by repeating to herself, “It’s Britney, bitch.” Would this make her more likely to believe she doesn’t really have a problem comparatively? Maybe. But Dr. Drew can show Britney barely living examples of where she could be if she doesn’t get her life in order. And his experience on Loveline can help her get out of the unhealthy relationship with Adnan Ghalib.
For Britney, GOOD DOCTOR
Doc Brown
Treatment: Transport Britney back to the start of her career so she can live her life differently.
Analysis: Doc Brown would sit Britney down in the Delorean and take her back to the late 90s, during “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” when she was still a virgin (insert winking emoticon) She would realize that she should keep better company, live a better lifestyle, realize she can do better than JT (that may be a stretch), and determine that her talents lie solely in her delicious late 90s ass. When she realizes people will get sick of her vocals and her crazy partying, she can channel her career into more acting roles, fitness videos, and any other thing she can more accurately copy from Madonna’s body of work.
For Britney, GOOD DOCTOR
Dr. Laura
Treatment: Blame all Britney’s troubles on her kiss with Madonna and attempt to cure Britney of her homosexuality
Analysis: Dr. Laura’s diagnosis would not help because making Britney more heterosexual would make her more likely to pop out additional babies, and that’s only going to augment her problems because she has trouble taking care of the kids she already has. And two women kissing doesn’t necessarily make them homosexual, it makes them awesome.
For Britney, BAD DOCTOR
Dr. Dre
Treatment: Try to revitalize Britney’s music career by laying down sick beats.
Analysis: Now here’s a solution! What better way to revitalize a music career than collaborating with one of the greatest producers in Hip Hop history. Also, it’s a way to get at ex-lover JT by working with Timbaland’s predecessor as the preeminent music producer. Successful music can ultimately improve Britney’s self-esteem to the point where she becomes a contributing member of society.
For Britney, GOOD DOCTOR
Dr. 90210
Treatment: Improve Britney’s self-image through plastic surgery.
Analysis: Sadly, Britney would not benefit from Dr. 90210’s popular procedures. Breast augmentation is unnecessary since babies and ho-hos have already started that process. And any tummy tucks or lyposuction would be undone anytime the Cheesy Gordita Crunch is available at Taco Bell. Self image is always unstable when you consume the alcohol and drugs that she reportedly ingests.
For Britney, BAD DOCTOR
Dr. J
Treatment: Embarrass Britney into a more healthy lifestyle by posterizing her with thunderous yet graceful dunks
Analysis: The man who turned dunking into an art form when he transitioned from the ABA to the NBA would probably talk trash as he’s raining down slams and jams right in the Notorious B.S.’s face. While the rim-rocking display would be entertaining, it would more than likely not cure Britney of what ails her.
For Britney, BAD DOCTOR
Dr. Giggles
Treatment: Torture Britney through unlicensed and often ironic use of medical equipment.
Analysis: There comes a time when drastic measures are necessary. And maybe a maniacal doctor taking revenge on the town that stoned his father to death is just the answer. Giggles’ witty pun-laden quips would get the message through Britney’s skull, most likely when he is jamming a sharp instrument through her skull.
For Britney, GOOD DOCTOR
Dr. Pepper
Treatment: Provide cola refreshment with the extra kick provided by its 23 flavors.
Analysis: While surely refreshing and more accredited than competitor Mr. Pibb, Dr. Pepper would only remind Britney how much she likes her sugar-filled drinks to be complemented with Everclear or other alcoholic additives. She doesn’t need that.
For Britney, BAD DOCTOR
Dr. Seuss
Treatment: Provide life lessons in simple colorful rhyme schemes
Analysis: Assuming Britney knows how to read, reading this children’s literature would be helpful in telling Britney how to behave like a good person instead of a skeezle, beezle, or bum. And as a bonus, if she reads these books with her children, she could look like a good mother even when she may not be one.
For Britney, GOOD DOCTOR
Juris Doctor
Treatment: Instill Britney with knowledge about laws so she becomes better at not breaking them.
Analysis: The more Britney learns about the law, the more she’s apt to actually break the law. For example, if she knew there was a law against public urination we would have seen her urinate in public already. She relishes the role of bad girl. It’s not her ignorance of the law that seems to be the problem, it’s her disdain for law.
For Britney, BAD DOCTOR
Doc Martens
Treatment: Give Britney a swift kick in the ass.
Analysis: Simple. Straightforward. Effective.
For Britney, GOOD DOCTOR
Dr. Atkins
Treatment: Improve Britney’s physical condition by prescribing a low-carb lifestyle.
Analysis: Reducing carbs will only remove the non-alcoholic portion of Britney’s mixed drink, which will most likely make her more drunk and thus more of a problem. Also, Britney does not seem like she would stick to the regimen because of a lack of discipline and a lack of understanding of what carbohydrates are (Wait, if it’s Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, does that, like, burn the carbohydrates off, y’all?)
For Britney, BAD DOCTOR
Dr. Scholl’s
Treatment: Give Britney’s feet a rest through shoe inserts that will have her “gellin’ like Magellan”
Analysis: After years of being on the road and shooting highly choreographed music videos, maybe more comfortable shoes would help Britney relax into a more comfortable lifestyle. She could regain the precise and mildly pornographic dance moves that catapulted her to super-stardom instead of the lazy, immobile moves she displayed at last year’s VMAs.
For Britney, GOOD DOCTOR
The Spin Doctors
Treatment: Serenade her with such 90s alt-rock hits as “Two Princes” and “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong”
Analysis: While this jam band breaks out all the hits from their multi-platinum album Pocket Full of Kryptonite, Britney might realize that her music and subsequently her life, isn’t all that bad. I mean, they had their one album and faded into oblivion, while Britney keeps churning out hits even when she’s mentally unstable. To be honest, this is probably worse for The Spin Doctors. The fact that they would reunite and the best gig they can get is at Promises trying to convince Britney not to kill herself. It’s sad.
For Britney, GOOD DOCTORS
And finally. . .
Dr. Phil
Treatment: State the obvious to Britney in a slow Southern drawl so she can understand that what she’s doing is often stupid
Analysis: While Dr. Phil speaks the same language as Britney, his recommendations will probably fall on deaf ears because Britney knows mishandling her kids and abusing substances are bad for her. She just likes doing them. Some quack repeating it slowly in simple language isn’t a deterrent. It’s annoying.
For Britney, BAD DOCTOR
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01.04.08
Posted in Television, Movies, Tommy Boy at 7:24 pm by tommyboy
In the New Year 2008, I really want to write a lot more and this blog is one of the areas I want to improve on in terms of regularity. So one of my New Years resolutions was to write here every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. As with my resolutions to run at least three days a week (too tired from New Years) and to not get so drunk in public that I cause a scene and get scolded by the elderly (guilty), I already broke my resolution to write here more by being too hung over after attending the Rose Bowl. But I want to start and try to make this work. And what better subject to talk about than drinking:
I was watching this movie on Lifetime a while back called “The Party Never Stops: Diary of a Binge Drinker.” Now I don’t normally watch Lifetime movies (no really I don’t. Stop judging me.), but I saw a description at EW.com and thought the movie spoke to me on a personal level. It stars Sara Paxton (trying desperately to transition from child to adult roles) as Jesse Tanner, a high school track star who gets to college as a shy lass and begins drinking so that she can fit in. Nancy Travis plays her mother, apparently because So I Married an Axe Murderer 2 is still in preproduction after a dozen years or so, and grows worried when Jesse doesn’t answer her phone calls. You see, Jesse is now using alcohol as a crutch, which is bullshit because a crutch helps you walk. Jesse is determined and focused but enjoys going out with her friends and getting obliterated. These were the drinking highlights of Jesse’s Freshman year: take first drink in dorm room with the girls, get trashed at Frat party, go on double date with massive Senior tool, sleep with massive Senior tool on the first date, find out he has a girlfriend, get fake ID, sleep with random guy who doesn’t know her name, come back to dorm room after afternoon drinking to find mom there, go to San Diego for Spring Break and appear topless on the internet, fail to make the track team, have that awkward talk with mom about being topless on the internet, swear off drinking, say “fuck that” at frat party and crash car into fire hydrant, get arrested, swear off drinking again, find roommate dead from alcohol poisoning, write down a journal, sell rights to Lifetime. It’s like they were writing my story.
Movies that involve drinking have always been dear to my heart. I especially admire characters who drink well beyond the acceptable human limits to comedic or dramatic effect. When a character can consume a ridiculous amount of alcohol, that character, if he or she is lucky enough, can enter what I call The Movie Drinking Pantheon. These characters should be admired, respected for their willingness to say “Rehab’s for Quitters. Cirrhosis is Super.”
So here are the five original inductees to the Movie Drinking Pantheon, in no particular order:
Arthur (Dudley Moore) in Arthur - Arthur is a wealthy socialite who has lived his life like a kid. His family’s ultimatum forcing him to marry Susan, a woman he does not love, only causes him to drink more. And more. Until he’s staggering and stumbling through the whole film. Highlights include Arthur’s proposal scene at a fancy restaurant where his Scotch is in the middle of his white china plate instead of food, leaving a drink on the bumper of his car as he staggers to meet Linda, and collapsing at his wedding. Arthur’s diminutive size makes his drinking feats all the more impressive. Pound for pound, maybe the greatest drinker in cinema history.
Bluto Blutarsky (John Belushi) in Animal House - While Bluto drinks through most of this movie at a frighteningly awesome rate, what truly makes his drinking feats is drinking a whole bottle of Jack Daniels and smashing the bottle on a car saying, “Thanks, I needed that.” It’s hard enough to drink water from a glass that fast, let alone Tennessee whiskey from a bottle. Almost as impressive as a friend of mine in college who did a two beer beer bong in 1 .5 seconds. Seven years of pre-med or pre-law (what’s the difference) was time well spent for Bluto.
Ben Sanderson (Nicholas Cage) in Leaving Las Vegas - Here is a case to remind us that alcoholism is not just about laughs, it’s serious business too. Ben Sanderson has come to Las Vegas in order to drink himself to death. This is one of the activities that Vegas.com neglects to mention, but the ever-intuitive Sanderson decides to make his trip to Vegas a memorable one drinking-wise. He wakes up to a hard alcohol breakfast and stumbles through the day. Even the charms of the lovely prostitute Sera (Elizabeth Shue) cannot deter Ben from his dreams. For your dedication, Mr. Sanderson, I salute you. Wait, you’re saying this movie is not out to glorify drinking. Then I completely missed the point. Probably cause I was drunk playing the ever popular and lethal Leaving Las Vegas drinking game.
Willie/Santa (Billy Bob Thornton) in Bad Santa - When one measures alcoholic exploits, one often looks at consistency, speed, and also drinking when nobody thinks you should. Willie nails all of these categories. Not only does Willie drink constantly, but as evidenced by his shot after shot of tequila and by his full case polish-off before an early robbery, he is not merely a distance drinker. Drinking alcohol that you pour over a child’s gash and drinking before playing Santa Clause at the mall are great ways of upping the ante and drinking at inappropriate times. Willie’s lofty status in the pantheon of movie drinking is aided by his innate ability to urinate on himself. Clearly deserving our respect.
Ralph/Bernadette (Terence Stamp) in The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - Sure, the drink-off in a bar between a cocky patron and the bar owner has been done. But where else has the patron been a cross-dressing transsexual? Bernadette proves her womanhood by standing up to the boys and outdrinking the bar’s rep. A huge upset for those that did not follow Bernadette on the bus through the desert like we did. Bernadette is as intimidating as she is ladylike and proves that great movie drunkenness is not just for men, it’s also for he-shes.
(Bet you didn’t think a post with the title “Movie Drinking Pantheon” would reference both a Lifetime movie and a movie about drag queens.)
There’s the initial five. Names can be added, but only if they show the ability to drink beyond human limits as demonstrated by these particular characters. Their performances will forever be cherished.
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08.16.07
Posted in Movies, Tommy Boy at 7:14 pm by tommyboy
AFI recently released their 2nd attempt to define the 100 greatest movies in American cinematic history. Hoping to correct the ills of the past that caused so many riots ten years ago, the Institute (as I like to call it) added films to the list that came out in the past 10 years (Titanic) and others that were overlooked the first go-around (Sullivan’s Travels) and trimming the fat (ha ha, Guess Who’s NOT Coming Dinner!). I thought to myself, “Finally, some justice. Some of the greatest films ever made by humans can be recognized for the great pieces of art that they are.” But alas, the Institute screwed the filmwatching community once again by failing to recognize some great films. Here are five of the most notable omissions:
Ski School (1991) - Dave Marshak and Section 8 at the ski school do battle against Reid Jansen and the evil Section 1 for control of the mountain in a classic battle of haves versus have nots. It is a coming of age story for John E. Roland as he skis the dome in a final epic downhill and has sex with nearly every hot girl in the film. The cinematography is breathtaking as they capture great skiing action, several shots of nudity, and only a couple shots with film equipment in the frame. The drinking style of constantly shaking up cans of beer to create a spraying effect was a great choice by director Damian Lee, who contributed his greatest work to date with Ski School. The film teaches us an important lesson, “In order to be the best, you must lose your mind.” The Institute should take note.
Dolemite 2: The Human Tornado (1976) - Rarely do sequels live up to the original, but Dolemite 2 took a classic film, Rudy Ray Moore’s original Dolemite, and brought it to the next level. It starts out with Dolemite, after having sex with the sheriff’s wife, rolling out of bed and shooting the sheriff’s men, fleeing the house naked, jumping down a hill, freezing the frame, and then saying “Y’all don’t believe I jumped. Well check out this good shit!” as we see an Instant Replay of his naked black ass jumping and rolling down this hill. The film uses the staple of Rudy Ray Moore films: rival comedy club owners who will commit any crime necessary to make sure more people see their comedy shows. Since you don’t see The Comedy Store owners gunning down the dudes who run the Improv, it takes creativity to come up with that storyline time and time again. We are also introduced to an innovative kung fu style, where Moore shakes his head a lot and blubbers out of his mouth before he strikes. It surely is more effective than the fighting style of the nun chuck expert he defeats during one of the final fight sequences.
Dead Heat (1988) - Not to be confused with Red Heat, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, this film stars Joe Piscopo and Treat Williams as zombie-fighting cops. Dr. McNab has developed a reanimating machine that allows him to resurrect criminals to do nefarious deeds for him. But Piscopo and Williams (the best cop pairing arguably since Steve Guttenberg and Bobcat Goldthwait) thwart his plan even after they are dead and resurrected. Kinda like Jesus cops. In the final scene Dr. McNab commits suicide, not allowing our hero cops the opportunity to properly kill him. So they reanimate him in order to kill him again. Genius. The movie proves one important point: You can’t kill Joe Piscopo.
Cool as Ice (1991) - Otherwise known as “The Vanilla Ice Movie”, “Cool as Ice” depicts the forbidden love of Vanilla’s Johnny and girl-next-door Kat. Vanilla’s posse gets stuck in a suburban town when his bike breaks down, but all was not lost as he met his soulmate, or at least a girl he’d like to have sex with. But her father (TV’s Michael Gross) forbids it, because he’s dangerous. From cinematographer Janusz Kaminski (Spielberg’s cinematographer) and director David Kellogg (whose other imdb credits are mostly Playboy Centerfold Shoot videos) comes a Rebel Without a Cause for the rap generation. Except this rebel has cause. And that cause is kickin’ ass.
Teen Wolf (1985) - Michael J. Fox plays a teenager who realizes that he also is a werewolf. Holy shit! The transformation is seemless, as Fox pays homage to Boris Karloff’s portrayal of the hairy friend. The film teaches us a number of things about werewolves that were glossed over or rarely mentioned in other literature and cinema Such as, werewolves are awesome at basketball, transforming human scrawny form into dunking high school hero. I’d like to see Kobe Bryant vs. the wolf in high school in one-on-one and see who wins - my money’s on the wolf. Furthermore, werewolves are excellent actors in school plays and have a good shot at nailing the lead actress. Werewolves are also excellent dancers, especially when dressing in white leisure suits. In the end. Michael J. Fox ditches his superpowers to win the basketball championship the honest way (take note, Barry Bonds). The movie is as enlightening as it is entertaining.
We can only hope that in another 10 years, the institute will come to its senses and include these films.
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07.26.07
Posted in Celebrities, Music, Life, Television, Movies, News, Sports, JD at 2:40 pm by jd
A little bit of this, a little bit of that…
Great post today by AJ. Consider it my muse for the following, musings. Too much muse, sorry. Sorry, Rick Reilly, I’m stealing your column idea. Apologies also to Oleander for stealing their line.
“We’re here to be there when our kid has three goals and an assist. And especially when he doesn’t.”
– Rick Reilly
We’re here to donate to a cause we believe in, even if it means buying a burrito that has the proceeds donated to the Urban Learning Garden; and even if it DOESN’T mean donating to a Church. Your beliefs are your own, and you are entitled. Just don’t express them around me because I might not agree with you, and if not, you are wrong!
We’re here to bitch at the referees, throw a pillow at the television, call our “favorite” players and coaches the most grotesque names in the book, then ask them for an autograph when we see them at a restaurant. AFTER they finish eating.
We’re here to hate our job, but know that, God willing, it is leading us to something better.
We’re here to be entertained, to think and to be moved to tears. Jimmy V says you should laugh, think and cry everyday, and I think he knew what he was talking about. By the way, we are here to NEVER give up. I will fight, today I win.
We are here to judge you. It’s human nature. Wedge, Brown, Crennel, Vick, Pacman, Donaghy, Stern, Goodell, Selig, Bonds, Lohan, Spears, Hilton we are judging you right now. Get over it. The first thing we do when we talk to someone on the phone, see them in person or otherwise communicate with them is size them up. We just usually don’t publicize our judgment. Well guess what? You put yourself into the public domain, we put our judgment into the public domain. You don’t have to preside over a court to have that right.
We are here to laugh at George Bush when he says, “Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country” and then freak out when we realize he doesn’t get what he just said. Oh, and he’s our president.
We are here to play Coed sports, to win a Rec basketball league and feel good about ourselves, to mock people that blatantly ask for it, to agree with Carlos Mencia, to go see a “little kids” movie on opening night and then sneak into something else after for a double feature. We’re here to spoil the people we care about. We’re here to drink enough once that we never want to drink again. We’re here to make a kid feel good about himself, and we’re here to grin uncontrollably when a baby smiles at us.
We’re here to ridicule people who write about babies.
We’re here to associate ourselves with a character from Winnie the Pooh, or a Disney Princess or decide who gets to be Vince amongst our group of friends. We’re here to act like we’re one of the gang when we talk about last week’s episode. We’re here for “Let’s hug it out!” and “What is the deal with lamp shades?” and a Bill Cosby lecture that’s five minutes too long, but absolutely perfect. We’re here to get excited when superduperstars make cameos. “Is that something you might be interested in?”
We’re here to say please and thank you. We’re here to laugh at farts. We’re here to embellish our stories so that no one believes them, but heck, it makes us feel good. We’re here to give a speech that we are completely unprepared for, knock it out of the park and then treat ourselves to a nice lunch after.
We are here to start a slow clap, to give a big pump up speech, to pick up our opponent when we knock them to the ground and to tip our cap when they deserve it. We’re here to fall flat on our face. We’re here to sleep in the bed we’ve made.
We’re here to fall off the horse. We are here to get back on.
We’re here to post endless blogs and not give a damn what anyone else thinks.
“VICTORY!!!”
Be well.
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07.06.07
Posted in Life, Television, Movies, News, JD at 12:53 pm by jd
This is actually happening across the country. Grown men are getting together to talk about The Transformers. Is this the mid 1980’s? No, this is 2007, but grown men that were reaching their cartoon viewing zenith around that time are fueling the robot-laden fire once more.
At first glance, I felt about all the Transformers Speak the way I feel about anyone who’s hit either their teens or puberty (whichever comes last) still playing Dungeons and Dragons or Magic the Gathering. Admittedly, the Transformers were a few years before my time (the show’s original run was syndicated from 1984-1987 – I was just 5 years old when the first run ended), and most of my older friends barely snuck into their original intended demographic. Also, I confess I’m saying nay about this movie having never seen it, but crediting myself with recently viewing Shrek the Third on opening day. So it’s up to you which situation is worse. I’ll say this, though. You won’t catch me carrying on 20 minute conversations at parties about a jolly green Ogre and his friends from the forest (or swamp).
At any rate, and before you diehards come to dress me up as Megatron and go to work with your wrenches and screwdrivers, I’ll reiterate that “at first glance” phrase. I’ve had a chance to go back and narrow my perspective on this matter and I’m thinking now that maybe these machines are like the fountain of youth for robo-nerds everywhere. If this is the way that Baby Boomers’ Babies can get back in touch with their inner child and escape the horrible headlines that dominate news nowadays, maybe it’s not so bad. I will say this. As my brother and I sat affixed to the preview (yes, before Shrek), I was shamed into looking at him and uttering aloud my self-hate, as I confessed to be somewhat interested in seeing it. I’ll chalk that up to good editing of the teaser.
One other note about the Transformers (which is a solid A- rating on Yahoo by users and a B- by critics). The show, with its lead character being in the person of an 18 wheeler colored up like Old Glory, is every bit as Japanese as it is American, despite its Patriotic color scheme. I just wanted to clarify that. I also wanted to let you all know that Peter Cullen, the voice of Optimus Prime, is Canadian; French Canadian in fact. I’ll leave that on the table for you the chew on.
Some people get back to their youth by eating ice cream, some live vicariously through their children and others watch cartoons. I guess I’m ok with it now. But if I catch any of these guys with some trading cards, there might be a problem. Grow up. Now excuse me, I’m going to play some pool basketball “H-O-R-S-E” in my above ground and follow that up with a Flintstone’s Push Up.
Be Well.
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06.05.07
Posted in Television, Movies, The Diesel at 1:22 pm by Diesel The
So is anyone out there watching “On the Lot,” the Spielberg produced, American Idol for filmmaking, reality show on FOX? The ratings have been atrocious and they’ve already cut the number of episodes to air in half. Originally slated to have a similar structure to AI with a two hour performance show on one night and a one hour elimination show the next night; it has now been reduced to one, one-hour show per week. Ouch.
Really, the only reason I’m even bringing this up is because two of my friends are contestants on the show: Adam Stein and Sam Friedlander. Both are good guys, good friends, and great filmmakers. I feel bad the show isn’t doing better, but so far it appears that Sam and Adam are two of the judge and audience favorites. Plus, just because the show hasn’t taken off (don’t expect a season 2), doesn’t mean that that million dollar contract isn’t going to still be handed out. And if it is, I’d much prefer it goes to Sam or Adam.
So I’m asking you, dear readers, to watch tonight’s show and vote for Sam and Adam as many times as you can. Rest assured, you will be voting for two incredibly talented directors and even better people. They definitely deserve to win.
Here are their pictures with links to their “On the Lot” pages, where you can also view their film(s):
WHEN: Tuesday, 8pm/7c on FOX
WHAT: Watch “On The Lot” & vote for Sam and Adam
HOW: *Online at http://vote.thelot.com
*By calling “On The Lot’s” toll-free number for Sam and/or the number for Adam
*By texting “vote” to Sam’s and/or Adam’s number (Verizon only)
*You can vote repeatedly & simultaneously, & every vote counts!
So there’s my public service announcement for the day. And Sam? Adam? If you win, I expect a good job on your first feature!
Be well and GO CAVS!
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05.31.07
Posted in Television, Movies, The Diesel at 7:01 pm by Diesel The
Just a quick update on the Memorial Day weekend that just past. First off, my box office predictions were more or less correct. Where I was right: We had three out of four weekends with a movie breaking $100 million; Spiderman 3 has sunk like a stone since it’s record opening; Shrek 3 held strong over it’s second weekend; Pirates broke the 4 day record; Shrek and Pirates made well over $200 million combined over the Memorial Day weekend (Wait, I actually said $300 million? Well, that was stupid of me. Ah well). Where I was wrong: Pirates did not break Spiderman 3’s three day record; my numbers per film were a little off; Spiderman 3 is definitely going to make more than the $315 million domestic total (my new prediction: $335m). Still to be determined: The final grosses of the three films. I still say Pirates and Shrek blow past $400m, with Pirates ending the year the big winner.
So overall, I’d say I didn’t do half bad. Especially considering that I’m an idiot.
Speaking of Pirates 3, I did happen to catch it over the weekend. In short, I liked it. I feel it had much more of a purpose than the second one. Yeah, keeping the motivations of all fifteen hundred-ish or so characters straight was virtually impossible, but it really didn’t matter. I was definitely engaged in the characters and stories throughout; so much so that I didn’t notice the nearly 3 hour running time until I left the theater (sunny and 75 when I went in, dark and 55 when I came out). True, another viewing may change my mind, but my overall feelings at the moment are positive.
Oh, and I disagree with this review almost of the movie almost entirely. What Owen liked about Pirates 2 drove me nuts, and what he disliked about Pirates 3, I liked quite a bit. But he gets paid to do this and I don’t, so I guess he wins. Damn it.
I did also get the chance to watch the Lost season finale over the weekend. Holyf@#kingsh*t! Now that was a season finale. One of the best two hours of scripted television I have ever seen. If I had any doubts the creators could pull this thing off, they are gone now. I’m still blown away. I can’t wait to see where it goes from here. January can’t come fast enough.
If you’re a Lost watcher, you really should check out these Doc Jenson articles over at EW.com. Required reading.
See you on the flip flop.
GO CAVS!
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