04.10.07
My first post is going to be so so lame…
Also, am I breaking a rule? Am I supposed to post on alternative days like the third Wednesday or something? Ok, whatever. Let’s consider my first post like the first pancake that, though delicious, just looks like a complete and utter mess.
Let me start by saying that Boy Meets World is a really good show. It is, it’s a really good show. I mean, what other early-mid nineties sitcom started out with a simple story of a 6th grade boy trying to navigate suburban Philadelphia and things like hormones, first kiss, your friends being stupid, your parents don’t understand why you’d rather be in a water gun fight than help them paint the stupid fence to tackling really hard-hitting topics. Stuff like “When your best friend comes from a trailer park and your house is nice and stationary” and “When your best friend joins an icky cult only to be pulled out of the icky cult when the young, ‘hip’ teacher who took him in when his parents abandoned him then gets into a motorcycle accident and hovers close to death” (wow, a lot of stuff happened to Shawn), etc. etc.
I watch Boy Meets World while I’m getting ready for work in the morning, and yes, I am an adult and have a real job. And before you judge me any further, let me just point out that I basically grew up with this show and it’s probably the equivalent of my mother’s obsession with Leave it to Beaver, which for all intents and purposes has even less cultural value than that episode when Cory learns about self-image after a bad hair-straightening experiment (and who hasn’t been there)
Now that this embarassing little nugget about my daily routine is out in the webverse, let me get to the point. Boy Meets World is on ABC Family channel which has decided to start its own original programming. There was that show with the love triangle and horses which I’m pretty sure was made for my thirteen year old self (and no, I don’t watch it. Yet) and that one with the family and the dad’s a cop and stuff happens basically because another writer wanted to use the word “Heights” in their show title. All easily ignored.
Except Falcon Beach.
I tried, I really did. But I cannot stop laughing about Falcon Beach. First of all, that title is AMAZING. “We need something sharp and fierce. A beach named after an animal that inspires fear and AWE. FALCON.” I’ve been referencing Falcon Beach at work because I just love saying the words, “OMG, so I was watching Falcon Beach last night and-” Seriously, try it. Bring it up at lunch tomorrow.
And the promos…sweet Jesus. Can you please stop force-feeding us these shows about “hot teenagers on the beach”? Please? It’s not working, people. They all look exactly the same and why aren’t any of these kids at school? The OC, Summerland, that show that was supposed to be Melrose Place in Hawaii, that show about surfers in Hawaii, all those “reality” shows about kids in Laguna- ENOUGH. Yes, we get it. Hot people in bathing suits are hot. Didn’t we really learn that lesson from Baywatch? Isn’t that class over? Can I blue card my way into a different one please?
I feel like this Falcon Beach one can’t actually be real. I mean, seriously. The commercials are completely hilarious. They can’t seem to find a shot of their star, Jennifer Kydd, where she doesn’t have a bewildered look on her face. Literally, every bland, uber-tanned hot body that turns to tell her something “sew dramatic and shocking” gets the same response. And then they toss in a bonfire and shots of kids who should be learning to read, making out and leaving rooms in a huff.
I implore you to visit the website. It’s fantastic. www.falconbeach.ca
Go now, run, run to them, to those lovelies at FALCON BEACH. Honestly, you want a good soap opera? I suggest investing in Cory and Topanga instead (will she go to Yale? Will they be broken up by Linda Cardinelli posing as a winsome ski bunny? Will they stay together for the entirety of at least ONE season? OMG, they’re getting married? They’re babies!)
That’s it, I’m done. First crappy pancake, I release you. Go forth and ruin my reputation.