05.28.09
216s & Heartbreak
Hello, old friend. It’s been too long.
I hate being a Cleveland sports fan. The city’s sports panorama is not cursed with anything other than bad management; so lets not even go there, ok? The main obstacle that the average Cleveland sports fan must hurdle is the repetitive roller coaster of emotion that our teams force us to ride.
I have examples.
The Browns have, by and large, been vomit inducing since their return from the NFL’s abyss in 1999. It started by drafting a system quarterback (Tim Couch. And by the way, he’s pretty much become the NFL’s poster boy for “Don’t draft a system quarterback! Yes, we’re talking about you Colt Brennan and Graham Harrell!” It’s a long poster, what do you want?) and pretty much every facet of the team has followed suit. That is to say, the past 10 years have been a bust. However, it is not enough to simply toil in Detroit Lion-ville each year. The Browns, out of nowhere, will put together a push to break the playoffs or a ten win season. Moderate enough success that the fans will begin to get extremely excited and develop something that is desperately needed on the gray banks of the Erie, something called hope. So what happens? We follow up our playoff “run” with back to back double digit loss seasons, and we one-up (actually “two-up”) our ten win season (in which we lost a game to a bottom-feeder team, thanks to a piss poor game for the ages by quarterback Derek Anderson, that kept us out of the playoffs, but I digress) by losing twelve and firing yet another management regime. Eliminate the two winning seasons and save the fans of Cleveland the stomach punch that is getting your hopes up and then repeatedly dragged through the mud. I’m unsure why we continue to be duped into a false sense of, “Maybe,” but we is what we is, and probably always will be.
Which leads me a few blocks from the Lake.
For the sake of brevity, which is fitting for the Indians in 2009 as their season is pretty much already over, I’ll just mention a few examples here. Terrible for decades, the Indians make a mid to late 90’s push to become a good baseball team, coming close enough to a World Series Ring that fans can actually taste it, and winning a few Division Titles in the meanwhile. Then the walls come tumbling and we’re bad for about 6 years. Like, REALLY bad. But in 2007 we broke through and got to the ALCS, one game from the World Series, only to blow a huge series lead and now, a year and a half later, we’ve literally hit the bottom; the worst record in the league.
This is the point. It is not that the city is cursed, just that our teams seem to rally only so often. Its like when you’re running for the first time in a while. You break out for the first mile and feel great, then something happens physiologically and your body hates you for what seems like an eternity, then finally something clicks and wonderful adrenaline flows, just enough to make a push and finish up. Then when you get to wherever you were going, you crash and can’t move for 2 seasons.
And so the Cavs find themselves heavily favored and down 3 games to 1 to the Orlando Magic, who’ve suddenly channeled the great Lakers teams of the 80’s. Many think if the Cavs fail to succeed in some historic comeback, it’ll be the beginning of the end for losing Lebron. I don’t necessarily think that’s true, but at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if he told Danny Ferry to work an extension for him this summer, then on the day he was supposed to sign, decided, “Nah I think I’ll weigh my options.” Get our hopes up, lift our spirits, then break them in upwards of 100 million pieces. We are all witnesses.
What a sordid love affair we have. Cleveland sports are a cheating girlfriend that we just can’t seem to get over. “Baby, I’ll never do it again, I swear! I was wrong!” Enough time passes with things on the up and up that we decide to drop our fists, let our guard down and SMACK! One more shot to the face. Or the stomach. Or the groin.
Come on Cavs, don’t punch us in the groin. If you’re going to lose the series, do it with dignity, in Orlando. Because I know what’s going to happen. We’re going to rally to win Game 5 at home and steal Game 6 on the road. We’re going to build a nice lead in the first half of Game 7 and, much like Games 1 and 2, we’re going to let it slip through our fingers in the end and allow Rashard Lewis a fadeaway three at the final horn for a chance at the win and the finals and those Lakers.
- You cheating whore! We are through!
“But Baby, this was the last time, I swear! Please believe me!”
- No. I’m leaving. And I won’t be back.
Wait! HE MISSED! I can’t believe he missed!! Cavs to the finals!!!
Just kidding. Got your hopes up a little though, didn’t it?
Be well.