11.07.07
He’s Baaaaacckkkk
It’s 12:20 AM and I am awake watching Mike Brown dismantle the Cavs chances of winning a game on the road at Golden State. I guess it’s time for a running diary.
Currently its 78-73 Cavs with 2 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. I can’t wait for the token mismanagement of the game that causes us to lose.
I wonder what it’ll be this time. An ill advised timeout? A treacherous substitution? Perhaps just a lack of strategic, umm, strategy.
Update, as I was typing that, Mike Brown inserted Damon Jones and Ira Newble to replace Drew Gooden and Lebron James. 78-78 after a Baron Davis 3. Make it 81-80 Golden State going to the 4th. Hate to say I told you so.
So since my last post, which I can no longer remember writing, I’ve gone to Grad School, started up my basketball season coaching high school kids and gotten engaged. Crazy times right? Well, its clear that I’ve had a lot on my plate, and thus haven’t been able to post. Right now I’m about as reliable as generic brand hemorrhoid cream. I’ve also played an entire touch football season and gone to the championship game in my Co-Ed softball league. I feel like you need to know these things.
I hate Mike Brown, but not JUST Mike Brown (the coach of the Cavaliers, by the way, for people trying to catch up). I also hate the Cavs announcers. And the Indians announcers come to think of it. But that’s neither here nor there. “Much to Z’s chagrin, he just picked up his 3rd foul.” That’s unfortunate.
How much does this American TV writers strike suck? Am I relegated to reruns of the Daily Show and Colbert Report? Am I actually going to have to read his (Stephen Colbert) book? And incidentally, why does anyone think he’s funny? Myself included. Here’s the thing, any old jerk off can go on television and jumble words together while making sarcastic comments and selflessly plugging consumer products in order to get comps from said companies. It’s especially nerve wracking when this jerk off is the last person that would need the comps he shameless requests. Ok, I’ve managed to do it, I’m switching to Ellen.
Timeout Mike Brown, 85-81 Warriors. Lebron James is making every effort to will the Cavs to victory, but I’m not sure he can overcome.
Let me update that score, its 89-85. Sorry. And the Cavs just had a “good possession” in which we ended with a 30% 3 point shooter taking a 3 from the corner. He missed. But you knew that. Got to love when Devin Brown is the big offseason free agent signing.
Devin Brown turns the ball over and Lebron makes a RIDICULOUS Tayshaun Prince block from behind. His 2nd in the 4th quarter. Wow. It’s too bad Mike Brown’s involved here, this would actually be a very good, entertaining game otherwise. It’s also doomed by its association to the NBA.
In unrelated news, any time I sleep at my Mom’s house, I shut the door to my room and my cat meows until I open it. This has lasted as long as 45 minutes… we’ll come back to this, but I have to tell you, we just had the stupid unnecessary Mike Brown timeout. 6:32 remaining in the game, 93-89 Warriors, oh AND he put Damon Jones back in the game!!! A bad substitution following the bad timeout! It’s the Mike Brown Special! It’s like a McDonald’s Value Meal, only McDonald’s is the worst basketball coach in the world, and the Value Meal is really horrific basketball strategy, but back to the 45 minutes… So I’m just wondering to myself if this isn’t her kind of creepy revenge from my article ripping Fancy Feast Gourmet cat food commercials. She did like her some Fancy Feast.
An improbable 3 by Damon Jones cuts the Warriors lead to 1 and leads to a Don Nelson timeout. This was preceded by 3 turnovers and what looked like a stretch of bad JV basketball.
I’m getting tired. Lets be honest, you aren’t reading anymore anyway. Well you know what, print it out next time and take it into the John with you. That’s what I’d do. At least its not the crappy writing of the other guys on this site.
We just got reminded by Fred McLeod (the Cavs play-by-play man) for the 29th time that Lebron is “X” stats short of his 11th career triple double. A developing storyline, I’ll keep you in “the know.”
Damon Jones WIDE OPEN 3, back iron. Saw that coming.
Did I tell you that I write for the John Carroll News now? Oh I didn’t? Well I do. I’m a pretty big deal.
Side question, does anyone still go to hockey games in American cities not ending in ‘roit? I’m just curious, I really don’t know.
Austin Carr (Cavs Color Man): “Lebron’s guarding everyone out there. He really wants to win, Fred.” Just under 3 minutes to go, 98 all with Andris Biedrins about to shoot two free throws. But first, we’ll go to George Clooney’s voice talking about malted hops and imploring you to raise up the Great American Lager. Now a cheesy song promoting an American car company.
I watched Pirates 1 today. Really good flick. Really good. Keira Knightley is extraordinarily beautiful in the movie.
McLeod just told me my stomach is in knots, much like the GM of the Warriors who they showed on the screen. He was calmly using his Blackberry, probably making fun of Danny Ferry (Cavs GM) for having Mike Brown as his coach. Meanwhile, Biedrins misses both free throws. McLeod: “Suffice it to say, the Cavs could use a hoop here.”
There is a jar of Oreo Cookies sitting next to me. I feel like Mikey McD in Rounders the way I’m turning down “zee cookies.” My puns could use some work today. Cavs by 5 now! And its “nervous nilly time on that Golden State bench.” I swear you can’t make these things up.
Well now if we lose this game, I’ll be stunned. Then again, Mike Brown is our Coach, so 1 minute, 5 point lead with the ball. I’m not hedging bets.
37 seconds left in the game, Golden State just scored again. Mike Brown just called another timeout. Dumb, and I’ll tell you why. A) You now throw the ball in from half court, more than likely, instead of killing time bringing the ball all the way up the court. B) You now give Golden State a chance to set their defense, whether its pressuring the ball or what. And it always is better to set up your defense than to just go with the flow, especially when you are a bad defensive team. In fact, as a coach, I would have screamed timeout after that bucket went in had I been the team that just scored.
And despite its being completely idiotic, Daniel “Boobie” Gibson just hit a huge 3 to put the Cavs up 4 with 19.5 remaining. His fifth “triple” of the night. Austin Carr is stumbling on more words than Mel Gibson when he was arrested. He may have just had a stroke.
Baron Davis misses a 3, Drew Gooden rebounds the ball and that will just about do it, 12.5 to go and Gooden gets 2 free tosses. Drew split the pair. He also shaved his “ducktail” or “reverse soul patch” over the Summer. Good move.
7.2 remaining, Cavs up 4, Warriors inbounding at half court. Still no triple double for Lebron. Apparently “you have to score points to win on the road.” Austin, you’ve outdone yourself.
Mercifully, it’s over. 108-104 Cavs. Mike Brown tried his damnedest, but to no avail. Lebron wouldn’t let his team lose. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to… wait, Boobie Gibson kinda looks like a black, male Keira Knightley. Yeah, time for bed.
Be well.