09.28.07

The Science of NFL Sunday Football Picks

Posted in Sports, JD, The Diesel at 12:04 am by Diesel The

JD and The Diesel are partners in a weekly NFL office pool. Ever wonder how these Boy Wonders have been able to pick 4 out of every 10 games right so far this season? Me neither.

What follows is a peak at the thought processes of two armchair quarterbacks (and Turkey Bowl stars) in the form of an Instant Messenger conversation.

I warn you now, it’s essentially gibberish. And I won’t even get started on the syntax…

As always, all picks are for entertainment purposes only (whatever the hell that means). Go Browns!

JD (9:54:07 AM): lets rock this catbox one more time
The Diesel (9:54:19 AM): shizzle
JD (9:56:52 AM): cowboys seem to be the obvious pick for the suicide
The Diesel (9:56:54 AM): did you get the email?
JD (9:57:18 AM): yeah
The Diesel (9:57:54 AM): thoughts? comments?
JD (9:57:56 AM): im not all about picking a road team for the suicide
JD (9:58:11 AM): but I’d probably take Houston if i was
JD (9:58:27 AM): or Pittsburgh
The Diesel (10:01:00 AM): the big lines are cowboys and chargers
The Diesel (10:01:02 AM): both at home
JD (10:01:23 AM): no chance i’m picking the chargers to beat anybody
JD (10:01:37 AM): actually
JD (10:01:41 AM): let’s go with them
JD (10:01:44 AM): i hate the cowboys
The Diesel (10:02:28 AM): i felt the same about the chargers
The Diesel (10:02:34 AM): except it’s the chiefs
The Diesel (10:02:46 AM): and they’re awful
The Diesel (10:03:07 AM): i also hate the cowboys, but i’m willing to overlook that to win some money
The Diesel (10:03:39 AM): the ravens are only team i refuse to use in any way, be it gambling, fantasy football, or acknowledging their existence
JD (10:03:47 AM): chargers it is
The Diesel (10:03:51 AM): everyone else is fair game if it puts coin in my pocket…
JD (10:03:56 AM): LT scores 2 and his back up scores 2
JD (10:04:11 AM): (b/c i started him in fantasy this week)
The Diesel (10:04:31 AM): i don’t get it…
JD (10:04:32 AM): ok here’s the picks
The Diesel (10:04:32 AM): what?
JD (10:04:37 AM): michael turner
JD (10:04:39 AM): LT’s back up
The Diesel (10:04:45 AM): LT’s backup?
The Diesel (10:04:49 AM): gotcha
JD (10:04:55 AM): is one of my fantasy football starters in the money league this week
JD (10:05:03 AM): so he’ll score 2 times against the miserable chiefs
JD (10:05:04 AM): i hope
The Diesel (10:05:05 AM): i’ve got to start brian russell this week, SJ’s backup
JD (10:05:08 AM): i’m 0-3 in that league
The Diesel (10:05:17 AM): brian leonard
The Diesel (10:05:21 AM): not russell, sorry
The Diesel (10:05:30 AM): ouch
JD (10:05:34 AM): i was gonna say
JD (10:05:38 AM): when did he move from safety?
The Diesel (10:05:51 AM): “excuse my friend, he’s a little slow…”
JD (10:06:19 AM): ok here’s my picks
JD (10:06:23 AM): lets do this one more time
JD (10:06:26 AM): the hell with a coin
The Diesel (10:06:26 AM): no coin flip?
JD (10:06:28 AM): thats no fun
The Diesel (10:06:39 AM): i’m pissy about our performance, though
JD (10:06:40 AM): plus the first couple weeks have been an anomaly
The Diesel (10:06:49 AM): they always are…
JD (10:06:52 AM): whatever, remember last year when i got incredibly good at the end
JD (10:07:01 AM): i am traditionally a slow starter
JD (10:07:07 AM): now lets do this
The Diesel (10:07:12 AM): okay, let’s do it
JD (10:07:14 AM): browns + 4.5
The Diesel (10:07:20 AM): obviously
The Diesel (10:07:28 AM): i think we’ll win this one
JD (10:07:31 AM): TB + 2.5 @ CAR
JD (10:07:46 AM): what do you think
The Diesel (10:08:41 AM): Panthers. i like the home team.
JD (10:08:48 AM): ditto
JD (10:09:13 AM): Det +3.5 at home against the bears and new starting qb brian griese
JD (10:09:26 AM): I hate everything about Detroit and the Bears have a good defense
The Diesel (10:09:40 AM): but the bears also have SIX defensive starters hurt
JD (10:09:54 AM): but dallas smoked them
The Diesel (10:10:00 AM): for maybe the first time ever, smart money could be on detroit
JD (10:10:02 AM): i still think they rebound
JD (10:10:10 AM): pick who you want
JD (10:10:19 AM): i see the bears playing good in the first start from griese
The Diesel (10:10:19 AM): let’s go to the coin…
JD (10:10:27 AM): you got one on you?
The Diesel (10:10:30 AM): Bears
The Diesel (10:10:41 AM): i’m prepared
The Diesel (10:10:52 AM): It’s New Hampshire “Live Free or Die”
The Diesel (10:10:55 AM): Hard
JD (10:11:25 AM): haha
JD (10:11:40 AM): remember my titans covering against the colts premonition was right too
JD (10:11:41 AM): if it helps
The Diesel (10:11:47 AM): that is true
The Diesel (10:12:07 AM): so will the cowboys beat the rams by 13.5?
JD (10:12:21 AM): no steven jackson?
JD (10:12:37 AM): i go yes
The Diesel (10:12:51 AM): sure
The Diesel (10:13:02 AM): plus they’re at home
JD (10:13:06 AM): right
The Diesel (10:13:16 AM): packs/viks
The Diesel (10:13:20 AM): will the magic continue?
JD (10:13:23 AM): yeah
JD (10:13:49 AM): actually i don’t know
JD (10:13:54 AM): what’s the tarvaris jackson status
The Diesel (10:14:06 AM): he sucks
JD (10:14:12 AM): pack wins
The Diesel (10:14:23 AM): i’m cool wit dat
JD (10:14:31 AM): texans pick apart the falcons in schaub’s return
The Diesel (10:15:02 AM): yup
JD (10:15:15 AM): broncos beat the spread
JD (10:15:25 AM): shanahan’s a good coach that will establish the run and kill clock
The Diesel (10:15:26 AM): i agree
JD (10:15:31 AM): they’ll lose, but keep it interesting
The Diesel (10:15:48 AM): denver it is
The Diesel (10:16:23 AM): raiders getting 4.5 on the road against miami
JD (10:16:31 AM): and I like the Dolphins at home
The Diesel (10:16:46 AM): btw i also have a raiders logo on my computer desktop right now
The Diesel (10:16:53 AM): never lose a bet to your company’s IT guy
JD (10:17:02 AM): u think raiders?
The Diesel (10:17:07 AM): hell no
The Diesel (10:17:12 AM): go fins!
The Diesel (10:17:23 AM): or is it phins?
JD (10:17:33 AM): it’s who cares
The Diesel (10:17:39 AM): yes. yes it is.
The Diesel (10:18:04 AM): jets -3.5 against the Bills at home
JD (10:18:49 AM): jets give up a ton of points, coming out party for marshawn lynch and lee evans
JD (10:18:55 AM): i like the bills
JD (10:19:06 AM): upset special
The Diesel (10:19:26 AM): i think both teams stink, but i’ll go with the bills
JD (10:20:13 AM): giants at home with momentum getting points against the eagles>
The Diesel (10:20:14 AM): eagles-3.5@giants
JD (10:20:14 AM): ?
The Diesel (10:20:21 AM): hmmm
The Diesel (10:20:32 AM): what’d the giants do last week?
JD (10:21:25 AM): beat the redskins
The Diesel (10:21:41 AM): and eli has stopped sucking?
JD (10:21:48 AM): remember the browns put up 50+ then got destroyed by the raiders d
JD (10:21:52 AM): shut down, not destroyed
JD (10:21:54 AM): well both
The Diesel (10:22:09 AM): the browns have been a terrible 1st quarter team
The Diesel (10:22:25 AM): also, mcnabb and curtis are on my fantasy team
JD (10:22:31 AM): ok go eagles
The Diesel (10:22:39 AM): but let’s go new york football giants at home
JD (10:22:52 AM): ok
JD (10:23:11 AM): steelers to cover
JD (10:23:39 AM): well
JD (10:23:48 AM): the cardinals are 1-2, all in 3 point games
JD (10:23:55 AM): including at home against baltimore
The Diesel (10:24:46 AM): i’m also intrigued by their whole dual qb thing…
JD (10:24:54 AM): yeah
The Diesel (10:24:58 AM): let’s go cards with the points
JD (10:25:00 AM): ok
The Diesel (10:25:05 AM): not confident about it, but what the hell…
The Diesel (10:25:15 AM): it’s always fun to root against pittsburgh
JD (10:25:17 AM): sd covers 123
JD (10:25:17 AM): 12
JD (10:25:20 AM): yes it is
The Diesel (10:25:24 AM): chiefs are awful
The Diesel (10:25:36 AM): we did decide on SD as our suicide pick, yes?
JD (10:25:40 AM): seattle at sf by a field goal
JD (10:25:42 AM): yes
JD (10:25:48 AM): on sunday night
JD (10:25:57 AM): sf looked awful last week
The Diesel (10:26:16 AM): works for me. sea it is
JD (10:26:46 AM): pats cover 8 on the road?
The Diesel (10:26:49 AM): now the intriguing pick…
The Diesel (10:27:02 AM): this is a landmine
The Diesel (10:27:21 AM): the vegas over/under is currently 53, so it’s not going to be a low scoring game
JD (10:27:27 AM): nope
The Diesel (10:27:35 AM): the pats have to win by a touchdown plus
JD (10:27:41 AM): but the pats score 38 every game
JD (10:27:45 AM): which leaves cinci with 15
The Diesel (10:28:05 AM): okay, let’s ride the backs of the cheaters… pats -7.5
JD (10:28:09 AM): ok
JD (10:28:19 AM): email those to me if you could
JD (10:28:26 AM): as they are my lbs picks too
The Diesel (10:28:27 AM): yup
The Diesel (10:28:39 AM): i think we should post this IM on the blog
JD (10:28:43 AM): thanks
The Diesel (10:28:43 AM): it could be funny
JD (10:28:51 AM): ok good plan
JD (10:28:58 AM): wrote article # 2 for jcu yesterday
The Diesel (10:29:01 AM): can you do it, since I can’t from work?
JD (10:29:08 AM): its our version of tip of the cap, wag of the finer
JD (10:29:09 AM): finger
The Diesel (10:29:11 AM): make sure our IMs and names aren’t included
JD (10:29:33 AM): ok
The Diesel (10:29:33 AM): and make sure the games are listed with point spreads, so people know what we’re talking about
JD (10:29:46 AM): yeah i dont have time before having to go to ec
JD (10:29:50 AM): but i’ll do it when i get back
JD (10:29:59 AM): when im dying from running with these mf’ers
The Diesel (10:30:01 AM): cool. i can edit when i get home if need be, too
JD (10:30:04 AM): ok
The Diesel (10:30:11 AM): enjoy ec
JD (10:30:13 AM): hey by the way, set up a blog name for our roommate [JB]
The Diesel (10:30:14 AM): i gots to work
JD (10:30:16 AM): call him jb
The Diesel (10:30:22 AM): sure
JD (10:30:23 AM): thanks
The Diesel (10:30:27 AM): send me his email address
JD (10:30:30 AM): also real quick, about the article yesterday
The Diesel (10:30:44 AM): email that to me, if you will
JD (10:30:48 AM): our tip… wag…
JD (10:30:54 AM): we decided on HIGH FIVE, FAUX FIVE
JD (10:31:02 AM): and we did it about first dates
JD (10:31:06 AM): i’ll post it to the blog if you want too
The Diesel (10:31:11 AM): nice
The Diesel (10:31:14 AM): go for it
JD (10:31:18 AM): so it’s gonna be recurring
The Diesel (10:31:27 AM): exxxxcellent
JD (10:31:36 AM): FAUX five!
JD (10:31:41 AM): love it, so funny
The Diesel (10:31:50 AM): ridiculous
The Diesel (10:31:56 AM): i’m pretty happy with these picks
The Diesel (10:31:58 AM): strangely
JD (10:31:59 AM): me too
JD (10:32:00 AM): i know
JD (10:32:09 AM): maybe b/c we took a second to do them
The Diesel (10:32:11 AM): we need gas money for vegas, baby!
JD (10:32:16 AM): vegas baby, vegas
The Diesel (10:32:30 AM): it’ll be here before you know it
The Diesel (10:32:52 AM): oh, as usual, i’m just using the vegas o/u for our total points tie breaker
JD (10:33:04 AM): did u see i beat tommy boy [in fantasy football this week], btw
The Diesel (10:33:33 AM): how’d that happen?
JD (10:33:59 AM): by one point when they adjusted
JD (10:34:00 AM): i don’t know
JD (10:34:10 AM): i think they gave romo one more point
JD (10:34:27 AM): ok im out
JD (10:34:30 AM): see ya
The Diesel (10:34:52 AM): l8r

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