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05.02.07
Posted in News, Big D at 6:07 pm by Big D
In what could be a daily segment (but I’d bore of it), there’s more evidence that the part of the world which may be better off as an American Quik-Park is full of insane assholes.
ABC is reporting today that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (I don’t see what’s so hard about that name: Ah-mad-in-e-jad!) is being lambasted by an Iranian newspaper for indecency after he embraced and kissed on the hand an elderly woman who used to be his schoolteacher.
The article is quoted as saying:
“This type of indecency progressively has grave consequences, like violating religious and sacred values.”
If this is a ‘type of indecency’, what is Flickr Babes? It’s all hypocrisy though: the religious leaders of Iran are busy making these indecency claims with one hand and fucking a sheep in the desert with the other.
What’s really scary is not the fact that we pay so much attention to these guys, but more so that it isn’t a stretch to find similar behavior from our country! A little closer to home, we have US leaders telling you what you can and can’t listen to on the radio while they’re up to all sorts of sexual deviancy in their private lives…
Now, I’m certainly no liberal (that link is to a site that berates the RNC for a living) but I’m no Republican either. The religious overtones that resonate in our government are no less stupid than the Muslim variants and neither have a place in a free land such as the United States. Indecency laws and censorship are slippery slopes, folks!
Sorry for the rant; this shit really bugs me.
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Posted in Movies, Sports, JD at 2:29 pm by jd
A little bit of this, a little bit of that…
Pick me, Pick me!
After saying for the past 4 months how much I did not want the Browns to take Brady Quinn and telling anyone that would listen the same, it took one shot of his girlfriend to completely change my mind. I was actually upset when we did not take him with the number 3 pick in the draft and mind-bogglingly ecstatic when we mortgaged our entire future of draft picks to get him. In reality, I spent the two weeks up until the draft -when it became clear that he was the front runner in Phil Savage’s book of prospects- convincing myself that Quinn was the right fit for the Browns. It took long and hard thought and then a final ditch effort of, “Well at least he sounds like an NFL quarterback” to persuade myself that things would be ok with out Thomas or Peterson. Finally, I buy in only to have the Browns take Joe Thomas, who I’d spent the previous two weeks bad mouthing for going fishing instead of having the courtesy to show up on his “first day of work” so to speak. By the way, I’m still not ok with this, necessarily. I’ve heard the arguments that he’s not going to have much time to fish once he’s a pro, etc. Well guess what? That’s called having a job! And most of us don’t get to play a sport as our job, we are stuck doing actual work! So excuse me for not feeling sorry for Cleveland’s newest millionaire when he says between playing football and cashing checks that he’s not sure when he’ll have time to fish. That said, I understand his point-of-view with wanting to “stay out” of the lime light, even though this stunt probably propelled him onto that stage more so than it would’ve had he shown at the draft. At least he didn’t have to sit in a room with Brady Quinn and watch him slide down the draft board like a greased up Plinko Chip.
Playoff Basketball
So the Cavs are terrible, but it’s because the real coach of the team is still wearing a jersey underneath his shooting shirt which is tucked into his pants. That’s right, Mr. Damon Jones. We’re in trouble against the Nets since we forget how to use our 7’3 center approximately 4 minutes into the game, even though the Nets have zero people who can guard him.
Run for the Border
Q’doba is to Chipotle as Hyundai is to BMW. You might think you’re getting something similarly equipped, but the first time you sit down with it, you’ll instantly know the difference. In case you’re wondering, yes, my lunch today did suck.
Give me a break…People in low income cities are bringing it on themselves! When you sell insurance and you do your best to be, “like a good neighbor,” you tend to get some awkward conversations. I’ve heard it all from people getting divorced to a retired SWAT team member crying because he got into his first at fault accident (no one was hurt at all) to being asked if I’d like to “go for a ride in a Porsche.” By a MAN. However, it’s become abundantly clear that some people are just idiots. Case in point: Mr. R. Mr. R, unkempt, seemingly devoid of all hygiene and (can you believe it!) single, is currently being driven around by his 18 year old high school dropout son because, like an intelligent person, he failed to pay his auto insurance. In Ohio, you are required to carry auto insurance on every registered vehicle, otherwise the state takes your driver’s license away. Well when the state told Mr. R to prove he had insurance, Mr. R was out of luck and begged the neighbors to make an exception and show that he has insurance when he clearly had lapsed. His sob story was, “I haven’t found a job and don’t even have enough money to buy food.” The neighbor obviously could not commit fraud and help out Mr. R and thus, Mr. R’s license was revoked, hence the reason for his son’s chauffeuring him around. Why is he asking for it? Within a week, a good neighbor happening to bump into Mr. R twice. Where, you ask? Rent A Center, where Mr. R was paying 37 dollars, his weekly amount for the 42 inch television that Mr. R was renting, and the local cable company, where Mr. R was forking over 85 dollars for digital cable. His car insurance was roughly forty dollars PER MONTH. Pardon me, Mr. R, but do yourself a favor and prioritize.
This trend has become increasingly popular in lower income (and also median income) cities. People “must have” 4 million stations and broadband access to the internet. No theater system is complete without a plasma television or surround sound. Give me TiVO or give me death. Some cities are so preoccupied with having a decent house that they build a mansion and then can’t furnish it, let alone pay the taxes! This is why foreclosures are at an all time high and why more people have assets seized when they are in an accident and don’t have insurance. People, don’t be a moron! What’s the use of having a 250,000 dollar house if you make the payments but I live there after your 18 year old hit me in a car you were driving uninsured? Where does that get you in life?
Lorain, that’s where. Look it up.
The Number 3…The next 4 weekends are going to be mobbed at the box office as 3 of the biggest movies of the year all premier in relative succession. Spiderman 3, Shrek the 3rd and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End are all expected to be smash hits with triple figure opening weekend projections. It is possible that Spiderman 3 will break (the fictional Aquaman’s) record for opening weekend ticket revenue, only to be obliterated 3 weekends later by Captain Jack Sparrow and his darlings who will raise revenue after a slightly more modest haul from our friend the Ogre. These three third installments could set monthly records up and down charts of every kind and will kick off a tremendous summer of movies to come. May is going to rock at the theater, just don’t bring a date, otherwise you won’t be able to afford your car insurance.
Be Well.
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05.01.07
Posted in Sports, The Diesel at 6:03 pm by Diesel The
The 2007 NFL Draft.
Brady Quinn. Joe Thomas. Forever linked in the history of the Cleveland Browns. Will they have the Hall of Fame careers of an Ozzie Newsome and Clay Matthews, both taken in the 1978 draft, the cornerstones of the closest thing to a Browns dynasty most of us have ever witnessed? Or that of Mike Junkin and Clifford Charlton, late 80’s Coach Marty Schottenheimer 1st round draftees that were the cornerstones of a nearly two decades of losing football?
Time will tell.
But I will say this: I am shocked at how excited I was when they traded up to get Brady Quinn. I am shocked at how excited my friends and family were when they traded up to get Brady Quinn. I am shocked that they traded up to get Brady Quinn.
This was a balls to the wall, we’re mad as hell, and we’re not gonna take it any more, move by GM Phil “Don’t Call Me Fred” Savage. Then, they went ahead and traded up to get Eric Wright, arguably the most talented defensive back in the draft, even though he had “character issues.”
Ballsy.
For the first time in God knows how long, a Browns regime has instilled a sense of hope and urgency in the fan base that has given them their unconditional love for decades.
I want to love Brady Quinn as I loved Bernie Kosar. I want to love Joe Thomas as I loved Doug Dieken. I want to love Eric Wright as I loved Frank Minnefield and Hanford Dixon.
Maybe one day soon all the schools in the greater Cleveland area will have Browns days, with students and teachers alike clad in Browns gear, dawg bones hung around their necks attached to an orange string.
Maybe one day soon Kiedrowski’s Simply Delicious Bakery will have a line around the block to buy their famous Browns dawg bone cookies. (2261 Cooper Foster Park Rd. Amherst, Ohio. 282-2700. Closed Mondays.)
And maybe one day soon, dozens of Browns songs will again fill the airwaves of WMJI and WMMS; classics like Louie, Louie changed to Bernie, Bernie.
Only now we sing about our new hero:
Brady, Brady, oh ohhhh.
We’re gonna go.
Super Bowl.
GO BROWNS!
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