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05.31.07
Posted in Television, Movies, The Diesel at 7:01 pm by Diesel The
Just a quick update on the Memorial Day weekend that just past. First off, my box office predictions were more or less correct. Where I was right: We had three out of four weekends with a movie breaking $100 million; Spiderman 3 has sunk like a stone since it’s record opening; Shrek 3 held strong over it’s second weekend; Pirates broke the 4 day record; Shrek and Pirates made well over $200 million combined over the Memorial Day weekend (Wait, I actually said $300 million? Well, that was stupid of me. Ah well). Where I was wrong: Pirates did not break Spiderman 3’s three day record; my numbers per film were a little off; Spiderman 3 is definitely going to make more than the $315 million domestic total (my new prediction: $335m). Still to be determined: The final grosses of the three films. I still say Pirates and Shrek blow past $400m, with Pirates ending the year the big winner.
So overall, I’d say I didn’t do half bad. Especially considering that I’m an idiot.
Speaking of Pirates 3, I did happen to catch it over the weekend. In short, I liked it. I feel it had much more of a purpose than the second one. Yeah, keeping the motivations of all fifteen hundred-ish or so characters straight was virtually impossible, but it really didn’t matter. I was definitely engaged in the characters and stories throughout; so much so that I didn’t notice the nearly 3 hour running time until I left the theater (sunny and 75 when I went in, dark and 55 when I came out). True, another viewing may change my mind, but my overall feelings at the moment are positive.
Oh, and I disagree with this review almost of the movie almost entirely. What Owen liked about Pirates 2 drove me nuts, and what he disliked about Pirates 3, I liked quite a bit. But he gets paid to do this and I don’t, so I guess he wins. Damn it.
I did also get the chance to watch the Lost season finale over the weekend. Holyf@#kingsh*t! Now that was a season finale. One of the best two hours of scripted television I have ever seen. If I had any doubts the creators could pull this thing off, they are gone now. I’m still blown away. I can’t wait to see where it goes from here. January can’t come fast enough.
If you’re a Lost watcher, you really should check out these Doc Jenson articles over at EW.com. Required reading.
See you on the flip flop.
GO CAVS!
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05.24.07
Posted in Saved by the Bell, Life, Television, Sports, JD at 4:19 pm by jd
A little bit of this, a little bit of that…
Saved By the Bell update – How do you know you’re getting old? When you start way overanalyzing Saved by the Bell to the point where it makes you take a week away from the show; not that I know from experience (dude). Today, the Super Station showed the episode where one of Bayside’s most favorite, revered alumni passes away, he was the guy who created the elastic strip on underwear. This man left Bayside a stack of high society (that’s 10 g’s for those of you not “in the know”) and Mr. Belding has decided he’ll let the student body vote on how the money should be used.
TIMEOUT.
This would never happen. No principal would allow the students to decide where a donation could best be spent when it comes to his school. That’s issue number 1 of an undetermined amount of issues. Number 2 is that when everyone speaks to promote their idea to the school as to how the money should be spent, Zack and Slater offer the following idea. Let me just remind you that this is 10,000 dollars. Their idea is to put Astroturf on the football field AND build a dome over the baseball field. These are the same people who supposedly can look at a car and estimate the amount it would take to fix it’s damage.
TIMEOUT.
They are not that stupid. We couldn’t think of a better segue to the plot than Slater and Zack making this comment? Couldn’t this have been Ox and his cronies? Or would that have made too much sense? Ox is the moron jock of the show, the writers should have let him do his job. Furthermore, after Mr. Belding points out the absurdity of the dome and turf idea, Zack says, “Ok, Ray Bans for all the outfielders!” and everyone cheers. In the Early 90’s, this comment clearly should have been “Oakleys” and not Ray Bans. They were much cooler and still up and coming amongst the teen demographic. Skip forward and this whole scenario leads to Tori of all people (God I hate Tori) suggesting that the money be used on girls sports. What?!?!
TIMEOUT.
That’s even more ludicrous than building a Minor League worthy stadium for such a meager donation. Slater correctly points out that girls sports count, “just not as much.” And you know what? He’s right! He accurately sums up why guys sports get so much more press and money than girls do, they bring in the revenue. Finally something intelligent is spoken! However, the girls take issue with this truth and so Belding decides to have a “boys vs. girls” competition for the money. Zack thinks of a scam, it gets uncovered when Screech opens his mouth (go figure) and it blows up in their face. The girls win the money, give some to the mini golf team and everyone’s happy.
Plus Ginger (Veronica Vaughan of Billy Madison fame) is in this episode, you have to love that. So I had 3 issues with the episode, not counting the obvious fact that it was a Tori episode and should therefore be banned from television faster than the Michael Jackson Concert Special for Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital titled, “Live at Neverland Ranch: And no, Johnny Depp won’t be there, no adults are allowed!”
Onto more pressing and important matters…
In the vein of Jayson Stark’s new book about overrated and underrated baseball players at each position, I’d like to list some overrated and corresponding underrated things.
Medical Show:
Overrated (OR) – Grey’s Anatomy (Duh) Under (UR) – House Correctly (CR) - ER
Note: We all know my Grey’s feelings, everyone that has seen House more than once loves it, but not many people watch it still. That’ll change. Don’t “kill off” Omar Epps. ER’s been banging it out forever. Not as much bang anymore, still worth watching for the long time hangers on.
Breakfast Food:
OR – Eggs of any kind UR – Yogurt Parfait w/ Fruit CR – Cereal
Eggs and heart attack are synonymous. Cereal is a great fall back, but yogurt with some Granola and fruit fills you up and is healthy. Plus you’ll be regular all day. Can you ask for more?
Body Washing Technique
OR – The Vegan Self Cleansing Method UR – The Brush CR – Bar Soap
You’re not an oven, my vegan friend. Please go take a shower and this time bring some artificial suds. Use a brush and some body wash for full effect. It’s like having someone scratch your back and getting a sponge bath all at the same time, and you don’t have to sit in your own filth like you would with an actual bath. Use the brush in the shower! And bar soap is like cereal and ER, it’s old reliable. Use this hunk of fat when you feel like being frugal. It’ll get you clean and sometimes smells nice.
Game Time Beverage
OR – Beer UR – Mixed Drinks CR – Soda Pop
Yes, beer is overrated while watching a game, especially when outside like at a baseball game. People at baseball games usually drink about 3 beers if they are drinking for a reason other than “I like the taste of beer.” So if you’re drinking to get a buzz before driving home, why not have 2 mixed drinks which will give you roughly the same alcohol content if you get them at the right place (and don’t order something weaker than Elizabeth Berkeley’s acting), won’t dehydrate you as much and will have a much higher novelty factor? You can drink beer whenever, go for the hard stuff and save the beer for the college kids. Soda pop is great for the designated driver (and, “Duff wholeheartedly supports the Designated Driver program. Now who is ready to party!).
One more beef before I go. There are two types of people in Ohio who buy cars made by Ford. The people who bleed red, white and blue and only buy domestic then make everyone feel bad about their choice of car if it’s not Ford or GM; and the people who buy them because they are affordable (read: cheap), most of whom work for Ford and feel they have no other choice.
The latter are the people who put the “I work for Ford, I drive a Ford” license plate holder on their Escape to make us feel like they’re loyal. Well I had a client come in the other day to insure his brand new Ford Focus. Yes, he works for Ford. His words to me, VERBATIM, were the following: “Jay, I can’t wait until I retire so that I can be a Honda or Toyota. Just something that’s reliable that I know I’ll be able to drive for 5-10 years without a problem.” What a sparkling endorsement from the guy building Ford E Series vans. Is it a wonder that I want nothing to do with that dirty four letter F word?
This isn’t the worst. The worst is the first group of consumers. You know them, trust me. They are the “holier than thou,” judgmental, snooty, look-all-the-way-down-their-nose-into-the-pig-pen-where-everyone-else-is-doomed a-holes that make this country what it is and shouldn’t be; arrogant. Yes, I drive a Honda. Yes, my car was manufactured in Ohio. Several Ford vehicles are manufactured in Mexico with European parts. Chrysler is backed by a German company. Yet, my car, which was made right here in the United States, in the state in which I reside, is the problem.
“Well the profits go back to Japan” you say. True, but I don’t think the Ohioan that snapped my bumpers on is giving anything back to the company that isn’t laced with saline and running on a second hand (sweat and time). Furthermore, my car’s company didn’t outsource all of its engineering to another company and still has manufacturing factories for all its car models in its own country. So in reality, my car’s company is domestically friendly as well as friendly in foreign affairs.
So go ahead Ford and GM owners, keep saying that your car that came from a German guy’s idea and was put together by a Mexican makes you a better American while you just voted down a tax levy that would’ve given more tax money to the crippled school districts because you saw a commercial on your Mitsubishi big screen that reminded you that you’re F-650 needs gas and you can’t afford another tax expense.
After all, the Persian rugs come in any day.
Just leave me alone when I pull into your driveway, unassumingly, in my “foreign” car. Everyone’s entitled to their own patriotism.
Oh and by the way, our country wouldn’t be half of what it is now, not even a fraction, in fact, without trade, imports and exports. So kiss my red, white and blue behind.
Be well.
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Posted in Celebrities, Music, Television, Movies, News, Sports, The Diesel at 1:44 pm by Diesel The
In honor of the great Stephen Colbert, and as I have no original thoughts of my own, it’s time to get judgmental on your ass. This is “Tip of the Cap; Wag of my Finger.”
Tip of the Cap to Braylon Edwards of the Cleveland Browns for recognizing that education is by far the most important part of any society and putting not only his money, but his time and energy to good use. Edwards donated a million dollars to a mentor and scholarship program for the Cleveland Public Schools, one of the many public school systems in this country badly in need of funding. Here is a link to a an espn.com article about it. Most illuminating to me was this paragraph:
One girl told Edwards he couldn’t imagine how much this opportunity meant to her. Another boy echoed a similar sentiment. Finally, a mother approached Edwards and said she hadn’t even thought about college for her son until the boy was chosen for this award. At best, she figured, her son would have to go to a trade school.
That possibility nearly stunned Edwards.
“How do you have a kid in the eighth grade who doesn’t even have the possibility of going to college?” he said. “That’s crazy.”
Wag of the Finger to the Cincinnati Bengals. Yet another Bengals player was arrested on Friday. On the plus side, since Linebacker A.J. Nicholson had already been arrested in the past year, the Bengals’ “Players Arrested” board can stay at number 9. On the down side, their four month streak free of arrests is now over. Sadly, far too many athletes make headlines for these reasons, making what Edwards is doing all the more impressive. Go Browns! EDITOR’S NOTE: Oh, and Bengals receiver Chris Henry, already suspended, has apparently failed a drug test. Whoo Dey? Dey be going to jail.
Tip of the Cap to The Office and NBC. Not only did The Office produce a sensational hour long season finale, but NBC reportedly has ordered 30 episodes for next season, instead of the usual 22. Combine this with the renewal of 30 Rock and all is forgiven for the cancellation of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (Aaron Sorkin, please get another show on the air very soon).
Best quote from The Office finale (as accurately as I can remember it): Dwight (to the camera): Of course, Jack Bauer would be my ideal number two. But he’s unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified.
Wag of the Finger to stairs. The Office star receptionist Jenna Fischer reportedly broke her back after falling down a flight of stairs after the NBC upfronts in New York. Not cool. No one hurts Pam. Did you see how hot she looked in “Blades of Glory”?
Tip of the Cap to my hometown Cleveland Cavaliers, for getting to the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since I was in junior high and Mark Price was leading the team.
Wag of the Finger to Cavs Coach Mike Brown for not being able to coach his way out of a paper bag.
Tip of the Cap to season finale week. The 06-07 television season is almost over and I have to say, it’s been a very good one. Two big finales still to come: Lost (I tivo’d it and haven’t had a chance to watch it yet) and House. And, as a relief to most of us, American Idol will now go off the air for 7 months. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. And to those of you that jumped off the Lost bandwagon during the first half of this season, you are missing out on an outstanding run of episodes. I cannot wait to watch the finale. Great stuff.
Wag of my Finger to the Heroes and 24 finales that aired Monday night. I won’t ruin anything for those of you that are going to watch on your tivos later, but I found them underwhelming. Heroes has been solid all season long but they have yet to take it to the next level. I was hoping for a truly bad ass battle at the end and what we got was pretty weak. I guess that’s what you run into when trying to turn a concept that is typically created as an effects heavy mega-budgeted movie and try to do it for 1/150th of the cost (1/150th is my best guess, based on an estimated budget of $1 million per 1 hour episode of Heroes and $300 million per 2 hour superhero movie).
And 24, well, 24 has been off all season and the season finale was no exception. The final scene did crackle with an intensity I haven’t seen on the show in awhile, which is a credit to Keifer Sutherland. Here’s hoping for a return to form for 24 next season.
Tip of the Cap and Wag of the Finger to the whole Floyd Landis/ Greg LeMond doping trial story. Holy crap, this ridiculous! Terrible, yes, hence the wag of the finger, but unbelievably ludicrous, hence the Tip of the Cap. Now I just want it to go away.
Tip of the Cap to the new Travis album, The Boy With No Name. This was the band I always thought was going to hit big in the USA way back in 2001, but it turned out to be Coldplay. What are you gonna do? Still, Travis is a mega-band in Great Britain, but mostly unknown on this side of the pond. Anyway, I dig the new disc. Last night I couldn’t stop listening to “My Eyes.” Check it out if you get the chance.
A shocking Wag of the Finger to Counting Crows for going on a tour that I may not be able to attend. I’ve seen at least one show on every Counting Crows tour since Recovering the Satellites came out, usually two shows. They are an excellent, excellent live band. I even dropped two Ben Franklin’s on prime seats to their show at the Walt Disney Concert Hall with the Los Angeles Symphony Orchestra (no regrets, best show ever). But now that they’re doing a tour of minor league baseball stadiums this summer (kind of a cool idea), they’re keeping mostly to the east and Midwest, without a stop out near me in LA. I guess I just have to fly to Minneapolis to see a good friend of mine and take in the show. Can’t wait for the new album.
Tip of the Cap to my box office predictions. So far so good. Spidey 3 dropped HUGE in its second week. Yes, it still took in $58 million, but that’s an astounding 61% drop from the week before. Then Shrek 3 came out with a massive $121 million opening and Spidey dropped another 50%, down to $29 million. With Pirates out on Thursday night, Spidey is a goner. Shrek and Pirates could take in over $300 million combined over the 4 day weekend, while Spiderman will be lucky to make $15 million. I won’t be shocked if Shrek pulls in another $100 million in its second weekend. Spidey is already at $258 million overall, but at this rate, it’ll be lucky to make my conservative prediction of $315 million before it’s out of theaters.
Tip of the Cap to former President Jimmy Carter. If he or the pundits or whoever want to say that his comments about the Bush Administration being the worst in US history were reckless, fine, but no one can say that he was wrong.
That’s all the judgment I got for today.
Stay well and see you somewhere soon, I hope.
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05.18.07
Posted in Television, JD at 11:46 am by jd
I tried.
I mean, I gave a full tilt, concentrate on the task at hand, listen to biased opinions, go with the hometown crowd, become emotionally attached, man-sized effort. I really attempted to enjoy myself. I just can’t. I can’t get into Grey’s Anatomy. Not even the “powerful” season finale could shake me. I’m going to try and diagnose why.
First things first, I can’t watch Meredith Grey (the title character) and be suspended in the disbelief that she’s some kind of prize to be fought over by several dudes. With respect to Ellen Pompeo, shouldn’t Katherine Heigl be the sexual protagonist? The one who the other female doctors want to strangle (because she is such a hottie) and the male doctors want to wrap themselves around? I guess my point here is this: Shouldn’t the main character of a show be the former model as opposed to the former “Strangers With Candy” co-star? Maybe I’m wrong here, but make no mistake, if this show was called “Izzy’s Anatomy,” the male viewership would increase ten fold.
Which leads me to my next problem, Izzy is in love with George? Come on now, the dude is the “nice guy” nerdy looking intern. AND George can pick between Callie and Izzy and he doesn’t pick the more attractive girl who he’s been friends with forever? Give me a break. That’s a no brainer. Happiness is, supposedly, marrying your best friend, and this guy goes with the not as hot bitchy girl instead. This guy is either a moron (which is extremely possible since he failed his internship) or the writers and casting people for the show don’t know what the other hand is doing. The Latino lovin’ would have to be a 15 on the Richter Scale to make this storyline feasible.
Sandra Oh is a good actress. I’m so glad she didn’t get married though, because the storyline featuring her and her fiancee was painful to watch. No chemistry between the actors and it was just plain bad. Sorry. I wanted to fast forward the TiVo through all wedding related scenes, but didn’t for research sake. My only saving grace was Izzy in a bridesmaid’s dress.
And what about Izzy’s ex-boyfriend? Alex I think is his name. Is he really chasing a girl that can’t even remember her life prior to entering the hospital? Or the one who is choosing to forget that life; however it played out, I don’t know. He seems a decent fellow, I bet his frat misses him. I’m not sure what his character’s purpose is in the show, though. Then again, the whole show is a muddled, confusing mess, so I’m not surprised.
Alex is looking for booty from the red-headed doctor. Allison maybe? Alex and Allison, how alliterate, how cute. They had an episode where they tried to spin Allison off to her own show giving her all sorts of inner conflicts and twisted feelings. It didn’t work. She comes off as way too stable in the midst of crisis. Plus I think she’s overly mature for a 39 year old. Two to one that show gets canceled faster than “Joey.”
I’m not going into the other couple doctors because I liked the one who is constantly yelling at people and the Chief until the other day, when the show decided to make them vulnerable. It was stupid. Leave them in control of their emotions and stick with the Gene Hackman from Hoosiers attitude, “My way or the highway.” That didn’t work for me. Especially when the plot twist with the Chief’s Ex-wife was easy to see from a mile away, even I called it.
And finally we come to McWhat’sTheirNames. One looks like a porn star and the other one looks like a 50 year old man. Now I realize that the 50 year old can’t be chasing a girl as attractive as Heigl, because that would seem odd if she returned affection; so in that sense, Pompeo works as Grey. However, the porn star looking dude would never go for Meredith in real life, and would be much more prone to a chick like Izzy. So either cast it differently next time around, or write it differently where McTheSecondOne goes after Izzy instead of Meredith. Much like Callie and George, Meredith must be great behind closed doors in order to validate all this attention.
In summation: Guys don’t buy that these doctors are competing over a 37 year old actress who looks like Calista Flockhart in her 40’s and after talking to a nutritionist. The fact is, I don’t know what would help this show be entertaining, at least not for me. I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid, so to speak. Just know that I tried, and for those of you who like watching Ally McBeal, MD, I’m sorry for the honesty. But you know there’s a problem when I had to fight off falling asleep during Grey’s between 10 and 11 (when I watched on the TiVo) and then was wide awake lying in bed watching “Scrubs.”
I had more issues to talk about, but I don’t feel like typing anymore, plus no one will read this anyway.
Be Well.
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05.16.07
Posted in Life, Celebrities, Lo at 2:25 pm by lo
In a rare and surprising moment, I have completely fallen in love with the city of Los Angeles. Not that I don’t like it here, but you would never catch me in an I ‘heart’ T-shirt about my home base…that is until Sunday.
A bit of back story (since this is my first blog post): I moved to LA three years ago with Eric, my boyfriend who is quintessential dream-chaser. At any given moment he is trying to accomplish becoming a famous musician/recording engineer/star tennis player/fighter pilot or all of the above. I’m a writer, and am typically content wherever I am so long as there is alcohol, food and friends. So here we’ve been since then and I’ve been pretty ambivalent about the City of Angels.
But that was all about to change.
Eric is assisting on an album for a new production company. He’s been in the studio 12-16 hours each day for the last week or so. This is tragic because while we live together we are literally “passing in the night,” and actually speaking for approximately four minutes each day at 3 a.m. because that’s about as long as I can manage to open my eyes and make coherent sentences.
Sunday was Eric’s birthday but he booked time at the studio since it was such a big album. We had decided that morning that I’d take dinner to the studio and we’d sneak in some together time while he worked. Once I got the text that it was time to come, I picked up Chipotle and headed over.
The second I rounded the corner, I saw a horde of paparazzi outside with their cameras, causing my heart to start pounding. You see, the new production company is being run by none other than, Matthew McConaughey the (second) love of my life. And current #1 in my Top 5 (followed by Matthew Fox, Matt Lauer…don’t ask, Will Smith and Josh Harnett)
Remember in seventh grade when you have your first crush and every time they walk by you, you turn bright red? Those girls would have looked mature compared to me, that’s how much I was freaking out. While I only saw him for a brief shining moment as he went to get beer from the refrigerator…it was all I needed.
To be quite honest about it, it’s made my week. He is just as attractive in person…but sweatier. He was only wearing shorts and a T-shirt. (Though since then Eric says he hasn’t worn a shirt since he’s been at the studio, which would have likely given me a heart attack.)
So thank you, LA (and Eric) for being born, because where else could you think you were just going to eat a burrito and instead see one of the world’s finest specimen of men.
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05.09.07
Posted in Life, JD at 3:32 pm by jd
“Porthos dreams of becoming a bear and you want to shatter those dreams by saying he’s just a dog? What a horrible, candle-snuffing word. That’s like saying, ‘He can’t climb that mountain, he’s just a man.’ Or, ‘That’s not a diamond, it’s just a rock.’ Just.”
Finding Neverland
This got me to thinking, how many other “just” situations do people go through everyday without realizing their immense circumstance? It’s an age old debate of “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” Adam Duritz modestly proposed we “pave paradise and put up a parking lot.” So have we been warned that time is something that can never be replenished, our one truly scarce natural resource. Conversely, Van Wilder makes light of the situation when he tells us not to take life too seriously (“You’ll never get out alive.”)
These scenarios raise interesting points, though. You won’t get out alive. Just ask the expectant mother of Chico Corrales’s soon to be born baby. This child will never know a father. Ask the parents of the five boys who passed away as a result of the tragic Bluffton University bus crash. Those ball players were innocently awaiting the beginning of a new baseball season when their lives were taken far too soon. What about all the people who lost their lives in the most recent weather related tragedy? The people of Kansas are going through a smaller scale version of what happened recently in New Orleans.
What is the point of all this? I guess the point is that life is short, too short to be taken for granted; too short to make light of “just situations.” This morning I jumped out of bed for work late, but it was just one day. I then proceeded to breeze through my routine of getting ready for work. I did it by myself, I have that luxury. I have the luxury of a job. I got to see my five month old niece on my lunch break. I drove my car to get to these places, I’m typing this right now, the ability to see, speak, read and write (depending on who you talk to). Pretty soon I’ll leave work and go home to shoot baskets in my driveway before I eat dinner and hang out with my family. At some point I’ll gripe about having to go pick up an old friend from the airport late and all the hectic places I’ll have to run over the next four days.
Look, I realize how lucky I am. I realize that when I’m “just going home” that I have a home. I have a means to get to that home. I have a means to pick up my friend from the airport, and a good enough friend that makes me willing to put in the time. I’m lucky to have family that wants me to visit. They want me to help raise my niece. These are not just situations, these are gold. These are the “small stuff” that really are about as small as the Grand Canyon, which, by the way, wouldn’t be a large enough space to accommodate all of these “small things” that I’m mentioning.
So when I finally hit the pillow tonight, I won’t JUST be dreaming. I won’t JUST be doing anything. I will sleep, eat, drink, play, work, spend time, teach, commiserate, love and be loved exactly as I have been. But from now on, I’m going to realize that the things in my life that I am JUST going through, are things that make my life worth going through. After all, life is “like the ticking crocodile, isn’t it? Time is chasing after all of us.”
I’ll tell my niece you said hello.
Be Well.
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05.08.07
Posted in Movies, The Diesel at 6:24 pm by Diesel The
Holy Crap! Initial three day estimates for Spidey 3 were about $148 million.
According to this EW report when the actual figures came in today, they increased another 3 million. $151 million!? You have got to be kidding me. This is $15ish million more than the record set just last year by Pirates 2, which broke the old record held by 2002’s Spidey 1 (and briefly by Aquaman 1) by an astounding $20ish million. And, oh yeah, Pirates 3 comes out over Memorial Day weekend. Any bets on whether or not that breaks Spidey 3’s record? Not to mention the fact that Shrek 3 comes out May 18th, the weekend before Pirates 3. This is ridiculous. Depending on your point of view (or back end points) this is an abundance of riches or just an abundance of, er, abundance. Yes, these ridiculous numbers are due partly to the rapid rise in the cost of movie tickets ($12-$15 per for a weekend screening out here in LA), but also to the cost of the movies themselves.
Spidey 3 is rumored to have cost in the neighborhood of $350 million. There’s that “Holy Crap” for you. This movie had to become one of the highest grossing of all time just to make its money back! But the sonofabitch did it in almost one weekend, when adding in the worldwide gross. Insane. The cost of making these sequels rises for the same reason television shows become less profitable the longer they’re on the air and why every good baseball player ends up in Boston or New York: money, money, money. A sequel is, at its essence, is an attempt to give the audience exactly the same experience they had with the first movie, but changed just enough so that they’ll shell out more money for it. So, above all, you really just want everything the same. So after Spidey 1 is a huge hit, Tobey McGuire, Kirsten Dunst, and the actors all get a big raise, as well as the director Sam Raimi and all the producers, et al. Immediately you have a bigger budget. Want to do a third one? Yup, everyone gets another raise. Wanna come back for a 4th, even though all the good ideas you had were used in the first three? What the hell, you’re gonna get even more money. So the real question is: Where do I sign up?
So that was a huge digression from my main point, which was simply that it’s shocking how tightly packed these summer release schedules are. 3 of the biggest movies sequels ever, opening within 4 weeks of each other. I won’t go see Spidey 3 – I almost did, but I just don’t care enough, but I will definitely see Shrek and Pirates. Despite being an elitist, I’m also a sucker. Who knows? Maybe they’ll actually be good.
So here’s my box office prediction for these three behemoths, the only guarantee is that I will almost assuredly be wrong.
Spiderman 3 – obviously the opening weekend numbers are already in on this, but you can trust me when I say I only expected this to do around $100 million for the opening. Not bad. In fact it’d be one of the highest opening weekends ever. But I was still off by 33%. Ouch. I will say that I think word of mouth will kill Spidey (I’ve only heard middling to bad things) and it’ll top out under $400 million domestically. Yeah, real stretch for me to say that. Fine. More specifically, $315 million. Happy now? It’ll drop 50% to about $75 million this weekend, and then drop like an anvil when Shrek 3 is released, to $30 million, to $20 Memorial Day weekend and peter out after that. So doing the math, carry the 1, I get to about $315.
Shrek the Third – This is not going to open as big as Spidey 3, probably breaking $100 million, though. I’ll go $115 to move it into third place on the all-time list. This will have much better legs with the family crowd though and still do $80 - $90 million over Memorial Day weekend and continue dropping at only a 30% clip. It’ll end up far out grossing Spidey 3, stopping around $425 million or so.
POTC: At World’s End – Then this bad boy will come out and obliterate everything in its wake. Over Memorial Day weekend it’ll break the 3 day record, probably hitting $160 (why not?) then add another $45 million on Memorial Day itself for a 4 day take of $205 million. Mark it down. If it’s any good at all, it’ll score another $100 million the following weekend. So you’re talking about $300 million in 10 days. It’ll come to a rest in the $450 million range. And Johnny Depp will get a huge raise for POTC 4: Rich and Sexy.
So three out of 4 weekends with $100 million dollar openings? Very possible. If not likely. Remember when $100 million was the benchmark of a successful movie for its entire run? Me neither.
Okay, this was supposed to be a short post (too late) so I’ll end here. I just hope these next two movies are pretty good.
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05.04.07
Posted in Life, Sports, JD at 3:06 pm by jd
The following is an exchange from the musical “RENT” by Jonathan Larson:
Maureen - “I think we need an agent”
Joanne - “That’s selling out.”
Mark - “But it’s nice to dream.”
For those who haven’t seen, heard, read or otherwise ingested the plot of “RENT,” the musical is, in content, extremely anti selling out. The premise centers around main characters Roger and Mark, who’s plight is more or less the inability to pay their monthly Rent, which was promised to be free by their landlord and ex-roommate Benny. Benny has, since moving out, married into a wealthy land owning family and it goes on from there.
RENT is currently touring on no less than 3 runs in addition to the long running play on Broadway as well as the development of a “milder” version of the show to be put on by high schools. So here is my question: With all the revenue being generated by these numerous shows, not to mention the full length motion picture released last year, how can “RENT” possibly be considered a show that has not sold out? Especially when the show’s integrity and quality has been compromised by using actors who can’t handle such strenuous emotional roles. I experienced this first hand a few weekends back and was appalled at the lack of quality, the blown lines, the lack of energy, etc. It was like watching a Tuesday matinee of “Cats” with the 4th string Mr. Mistofeles. No fun whatsoever and a gigantic waste of money. Take this as a caution if you plan to see any future touring edition of “RENT.” At the very least make sure to see a Saturday evening show when you’re at least guaranteed to get the “A Team” of cast members, otherwise spring for the trip to the N-Y-C. You won’t be sorry.
Speaking of people who are sorry, go here. Seriously, I never would’ve guessed this chick was a stripper living with her drug dealer boyfriend/baby’s daddy in a trailer park. Remember the other day when I said “Some people are just asking for it?” Case in point. Whatever “it” is.
While we’re talking about people deserving of bad fortune, lets bring up the Damn Yankees. In fact, I have an activity for you. Go ESPN’s MLB Home Page and try to find the Headline that talks about the Indians sweep of the Toronto Blue Jays. Yes that’s right, the team that was 2 games back of the Red Sox for 1st place in the AL East and is still (after losing 3 straight and the Yankees winning 3 straight) tied for 2nd, lost 3 in a row to the surging Tribe, the hottest team in baseball, having won 10 of 11. The lone loss was a protested game that by all accounts (except for the office of the commissioner) should have been replayed. So the Indians are on fire and have the best record by percentage IN THE MAJORS. So find the headline about our sweep and winning yet another series. Give up? That’s because it’s not there. However the Yanks sweep of the lowly Texas Rangers (one game ahead of the KC Royals for worst record in the majors) is plastered in the headlines. Call me crazy, but something is wrong here. Give the damn team some credit, and while you’re at it, throw some propers in for the Milwaukee Brewers for their great start. I hate politics and I hate the Yankees.
Finally, I end on a somber note. I woke up this morning to find plastered on the front page of the local newspaper that yet another Army Officer had been killed in Combat in Iraq, this time it was a long time client of mine. Lane was always the most polite and well spoken guy and seemed to truly believe he was serving a greater purpose. If more people would instinctively do their part to make the world a better place, the world might just actually become that. He’s gone too soon and my thoughts and prayers are with his family. You’ll be missed, Lane.
Be Well.
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Posted in Music, The Diesel at 1:36 pm by Diesel The
So on the way into work this morning I heard the Snow Patrol song with that whole “If I lay here. If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” (or some junk like that) chorus. I think it’s called “Chasing Cars,” but don’t quote me on that. Anyway, so I hear this song and I find myself enjoying it in spite of myself. I came to the conclusion that I, in fact, like this song. Now, admitting this to others is another matter entirely and I’m not quite sure I’m ready to take that step. It’s not a good song, but I like it. And I’m not going to beat myself up about it. So there. Except I am. Crap. I’m all torn up inside.
So I thought this would be a good forum for me to purge my soul of all the admittedly crappy songs that I am hesitant to admit a like for. Today, this Snow Patrol song. Next week I’m sure there will be something else. I’m not worried about running out of songs. As any former roommate of mine will tell you, I like a lot of crap. Plus, the VH1 Top 20 Countdown will continually update me on the all the crap I am loathe to like. It has caused me to actually love that damn All-American Rejects song “Move Along.” GREAT video. Catchy effin’ song. I love it. And I apologize for my love. I can’t help myself.
I’d like to say I will go forth and try to sin no more, but that would be a lie. I think I may kinda like that Gym Class Heroes song.
I loathe myself…
Do you of you have any crappy song confessionals you’d like to share? I know you do because somehow that dude from Matchbox 20 has a career.
Comment away, good readers. I can’t promise absolution, but I can promise to make fun of you behind your back…
…with that damn Snow Patrol song on my iPod.
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05.03.07
Posted in Sports, Big D at 6:18 am by Big D
In the spirit of the season, the Freakonomics
authors have been making a few posts on their blog about the NBA. They link to a detailed piece of research that highlights some trends in the way white refs call fouls on black players and vice-versa.
Pretty interesting stuff - certainly a lot more interesting than actual NBA Games are…
You’ll find the article here: Freakonomics Blog » Racial bias in NBA refereeing?
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