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04.26.07
Posted in Celebrities, Music, Television, Sports, News, The Diesel at 1:36 pm by Diesel The
So ever since I wrote that Loosely Based Sports article on the best television of 2006, I’ve been meaning to update my comments on NBC’s 30 Rock.* A great episode last Thursday night featuring my hometown of Cleveland (and the hometown of at least half the writers on this site, if you haven’t been able to tell) and the follow up episode airing tonight gives me the perfect opportunity.
First of all, 30 Rock has firmly planted itself on my “Must Watch” list. Its quality has improved each and every week (except last week – A British chick with hollow bones? Maybe a little much.) and with NBC making the wise choice of moving it to the spot right after The Office, Thursday night is Must See TV again. The show itself has become almost Seinfeldian, with the “normal” Tina Fey character, Liz Lemon, surrounded by a batch of misfits. George, Elaine, and Kramer were ridiculous (especially Kramer), but they were rooted in reality in such a way that we could believe them as real people and relate to their peculiarities, usually through Jerry as the straight man. Liz’s 30 Rock main co-stars are Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan), the star of the show within the show, and Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin), the NBC network executive overseeing the show.
These two, along with the 3 or 4 other regulars, were complete caricatures in the pilot. Tracy seemed to be stuck playing some variation of his Brian Fellows SNL character (with a little psychotic Martin Lawrence thrown in), while Alec’s character was just a stereotypical jerk executive. As the show evolved, however, Tracy embraced what is, believe it or not, a more nuanced portrait of zaniness. His character, instead of being a stereotypical crazy black actor, is obsessed with NOT being a stereotypical crazy black actor. The latest plot line finds him on the run from an organization headed by Oprah Winfrey and Bill Cosby who believe he is shaming the race. And, oh yeah, he’s apparently a descendant of Thomas Jefferson and he’s looking to play him in a movie.
Jack Donaghy quickly went from being the antagonist of the show (wow, uncreative executive comes in and ruins great show by looking to the bottom line – real original idea) to a mentor-protégé relationship with Liz – whether she likes it or not. (”Being a mentor? Is there any money in that?” – I paraphrase George Costanza). Of course, she’s far more mature and together than he will ever be, which makes it all the more entertaining.
Seinfeld brilliantly pushed the minutia of daily life to absurd extremes, with its “close talkers,” “man hands,” and the like, while 30 Rock takes the already absurd extremes of the entertainment world (seemingly every great black comedian starring in a movie as a large woman) to even more ridiculous heights (Tracy Jordan starring as a large female dog in “Fat Bitch”).
As far as the Cleveland episode goes, I have to admit I was afraid it was going to be another “bash Cleveland for laughs” kind of a thing. But it was actually far more clever. They praised Cleveland for laughs. “If the whole world lived in their favorite vacation spots, everyone would live in Hawaii, Italy, and Cleveland.” If only wishing made it so . . .
Anyway, it was a very pro-Cleveland episode, even if done somewhat ironically. I guess in real life Tina Fey’s baby’s daddy (and husband) is from Cleveland and attended Kent State. So I have to assume the positive sentiments are fairly sincere. “Sure Lemon, we’ve all wanted to ‘Flee to the Cleve” from time to time…”
Anyway, I highly recommend playing around on the NBC site to watch the Cleveland segments. You may even be able to catch the entire episode.
A recent Entertainment Weekly article compared the full cast to that of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, which I think is an apt comparison. So if this show is drawing comparisons to two of the greatest television shows in history, it’s probably worth checking out. Plus they did a funny show about Cleveland. Gotta love it.
FYI: Apparently all is definitely not well with Alec Baldwin. In honor of him, here’s a link to one of the funniest commercial parodies SNL did this past season (not a long list, I know). “You’re not saying that we should offer . . . free . . . mustache rides?”
*Yes, I wrote an article about television for a sports page. It’s “loosely based,” kinda like this blog. Weird, I know.
The “Other Such Things”:
I hate to bring up serious stuff again, but it kind of angers me how the pundits are saying that now is not the time to have a national discussion about gun control. Just a week prior, some ancient jerk DJ most of us had barely heard of made a rude, insensitive remark and the country needed to have a national discussion about racism and racist language. Which I’m fine with (check out these articles from Jason Whitlock and Todd Boyd — two writers with very different arguments, but both valid and thought provoking — exactly what we need on the topic of guns and violence). But as the old saying goes, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me. In this case, guns can kill you, a dumbass disc jockey can’t, and I think we should talk about it to make sure something like this never happens again. I’d just like to see some thoughtful, intelligent articles and discussion. I think the countless number of people killed with legally purchased weapons every year would agree with me.
Okay, it’s impossible to make a smooth transition from that, so I’m not even going to try. If you happen to go to Disneyland or Disney’s California Adventure in the near future, be sure to check out the Aladdin stage show. The chick playing Jasmine is smoking hot. Jasmine, if you’re reading this, call me.
I’m also in love with the RGX body spray girl (Rachel Specter, according to a quick google search).
I hate the Yankees and Red Sox and I will avoid all discussion of them like the plague, even if it comes from my boys Kornheiser and Wilbon at PTI or The Sports Guy on ESPN.com. It’s April. They play something like 19 times over the course of the season. Who gives a damn? And ESPN? Can you show something other than Yankees or Sox games? Please? This follows closely on the heals of my Barry Bonds and Terrell Owens embargoes. I’m done with them, too.
So I’m going to try and post a new article every Tuesday and Friday from here on out. Yes, I know it’s Thursday. I’m going to try to write something about the NFL draft tomorrow.
Check out The Real Wedding Crashers, Tommy Boy’s and my friend Desi is one of the actors/crashers on the show.
Can one of you please eat the new Wendy’s bacon mushroom double melt triglyceride burger and email me what it tastes like? Because it looks outstanding. Come on, D, I know you used to order the Triple Phat back in the day.
Sanjaya: ‘I’m Not Just a Musician’ He’s a musician?
I’d like to do an entire article discussing music, but check out this version of “Round Here.” Hopefully it’s still posted on that page. Apparently Adam Duritz of Counting Crows wrote the lyrics while playing with another band, The Himalayans, and this is the version they recorded, even before the Crows did it.
Cavaliers coach Mike Brown with the understatement of the year: “I’m nowhere close to a genius.” Can we please hire Rick Carlisle immediately? I’m more than fine with trading a 50 win coach for a 35 win coach. I guarantee you that if Carlisle was the Cavs coach, they’d have won 57-60 games this season. Just sayin’.
Stay well and see you somewhere soon, I hope.
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04.19.07
Posted in Sports, JD at 3:57 pm by jd
“Hello NBA playoffs, this is Cavaliers Coach Mike Brown. Thanks for letting me stop by again. Also, if you see the big man upstairs, could you tell him I said thanks for dropping me in the lap of Lebron James? I know I haven’t coached him at all, he hasn’t improved under my, what’s that word? ‘Tutelage.’ But as long as he keeps commanding triple teams and single handedly winning 50 games a year, I’ll get to the Hall of Fame! He’ll get there too, he’ll just never realize his potential as the most dominant player in the history of the game, but hey I can live with that; at least until after 2010 when he signs with the Knicks, Bulls, Clippers, or Lakers and I’m out of a job. Thanks also for sending me Damon Jones, because for as detrimental as he is on the floor, he’s a great leader in the huddle. He’s single handedly kept the guys from screaming mutiny. And finally, thank you for the hapless Chicago Bulls. They were kind enough to extend our playoff stay to Round 3 this year when we’ll undoubtedly lose to the Pistons. But still, getting to that round through the Wizards (ok fine, their two All Stars aren’t playing, but they were leading the conference at some points this year!) and the Nets (I know they needed to play their last game to even finish .500 this year, but have you seen Jason Kidd’s numbers?! Too bad we don’t have a point guard like that. Note to self: Ask Danny Ferry why we don’t have a Bibby or Kidd-esque point guard.) will guarantee we’ve improved from last year. It makes sense, Playoffs. We got to your first round two years ago, your second round last year and now your third round! That’s progress! So thanks for having the chips fall in my favor, I’m the luckiest resident of Cleveland since George Steinbrenner left.”
PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS (In Series Order, by which I care about least):
Western Conference:
Utah-Houston – Let’s be honest, no one’s watching this series. The best match up in the starting lineups is Andrei Kirilenko vs. Shane Battier. Seriously. And only because Battier is a glue guy who plays great D and Kirilenko has the capability to score big, despite his 8.3 points per game average. That’s the marquee match up? Every other position there is a decided edge. The only other one you can even make a case for is Ming-Okur, and that’s only if you’re a true NBA fan, because otherwise you’ve probably never even heard of Okur.
PG Deron Williams v. Rafer Alston Advantage Williams Utah
SG Derek Fisher v. Tracy Mc Grady Ad. McGrady Houston
SF Kirilenko v. Battier Ad. Even Push
PF Carlos Boozer v. Chuck Hayes Ad. Boozer Utah
C Mehmet Okur v. Yao Ming Ad. Ming Houston
Prediction – Rockets in 5
Denver-San Antonio – I think of the 4 Western Conference Series, this could be the most competitive. Or it could be a complete flop. I could honestly see either team getting hot and winning in 4 or 5 games. Each team has a distinct and opposite style and definite strengths that will be a problem for the other team. They both have strong role players off a “not-so-terribly deep” bench. This is almost like stereotypical white guys of a Catholic High School with the token nice big black guy (Tim Duncan, ejection be damned) playing against the inner city school that has the token white guy at point guard who talks about his “mad handles” while listening to Biggie Smalls and fashioning his Roc-a-Wear (Steve Blake).
PG Steve Blake v. Tony Parker Ad. Parker SA
SG Allen Iverson v. Michael Finley Ad. Iverson Den
SF Melo Anthony v. Bruce Bowen Ad. Anthony Den
PF Nene v. Tim Duncan Ad. Duncan SA
C Marcus Camby v. Francisco Elson Ad. Camby Den
*LaLa from MTV (Melo’s girl) v. Eva Longoria (Parker’s girl) AD. LONGORIA
Prediction – Due to Ginobili off the bench and Longoria behind it, the Spurs in 6.
Golden State-Dallas – Dallas is clearly better, but Don Nelson owns his old team and if anybody can take the Warriors to the promised land against the Mavericks, it’s Lenny Wilkens. But if two people can do it, the 2nd is Nellie. Now this team had to go on a tear at the end of the year to even get into the Playoffs, but that means they’re coming in with momentum, plus they’ve beaten Dallas five straight in the regular season. This is like the 1-2-3 Kid beating Razor Ramon three straight times on WWF Monday Night Raw back when wrestling was cool. You just don’t expect to see it. Well guess what, Wrestlemania comes around and everything rights itself, just like the Mavs will.
PG Baron Davis v. Jason Terry Ad. Terry Dal
SG Monta Ellis v. Greg Buckner Ad. Ellis GS
SF J. Richardson v. Josh Howard Ad. Even Push
PF S. Jackson v. Dirk Nowitzki Ad. Nowitzki Dal
C Al Harrington v. Erick Dampier Ad. Harrington GS
Prediction – Dallas in 5
Los Angeles-Phoenix – The Lakers took Phoenix to 7 games in last year’s playoffs, but don’t expect it to happen again. This series features the most accomplished coach of his generation who revolutionized offense in the late 80’s to mid 90’s in Phil Jackson and the guy who’s taking the reins from him with his up tempo style in Mike D’Antoni (who should be nowhere near the Olympic team, please). It also features the best player in the game (Kobe Bryant) and the two time reigning MVP (and Canadian, Steve Nash). How about Luke Walton’s dad possibly giving commentary on this game? How good could this be? Probably not very, but a guy a can hope. After all, some dude named Zach Johnson won the Masters and a girl with the voice of Kerri Strug was an American Hero.
PG Jordan Farmar v. Steve Nash Ad. Farmar (kidding, Nash) Phx
SG Kobe Bryant v. Raja Bell Ad. Bell (seriously, Bryant) LAL
SF Luke Walton v. James Jones Ad. Walton LAL
PF Lamar Odom v. Shawn Marion Ad. Even Push
C Kwame Brown v. Amare Stoudemire Ad. Stoudemire Phx
*** Kobe Bryant’s Elbow v. Raja Bell’s Forearm Ad. Bryant’s Elbow
Prediction – Phoenix in 6, but lets see next year when Andrew Bynum’s ready
INTERMISSSION!
Life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg. Race cars, lasers, airplanes, it’s a duck blur! Might solve a mystery (oooh) or rewrite history!
Duck tales (woo ooh!)
Everyday they’re out there making Duck tales! (ooh ooh)
Tales of daring do bad and good luck tales! (ooh ooh)
D-d-d-danger, Watch Behind You!
There’s a stranger out to find you!
What to do? Just grab onto some Duck tales! (woo ooh!)
EASTERN CONFERENCE:
Orlando-Detroit – I would love to say the Pistons could lose this series but the Magic are just bad. They were supposed to have a great season, maybe even win the conference, but that just proves that the so-called “Pundits” are hardly ever right. If a baseball player fails 7 of every 10 times he steps up to the plate throughout his career, he ends up in the Hall of Fame, just ask Wade Boggs. If that’s the criterion to be a member of the baseball hall of fame, then to become a Sports Pundit you must have to get something right once every 150 times you write something, give or take and depending on the strength of the Yen, I’m not quite sure. Anyway, the smart guys picked the Magic, and the Magic took till the final day of the playoffs to eke their way in, so people are idiots, whaddya want from me?
PG Jameer Nelson v. Chauncey Billups Ad. Billups DET
SG Grant Hill v. Rip Hamilton Ad. Hamilton DET
SF Hedo Turkoglu v. Tayshaun Prince Ad. Prince DET
PF Tony Battie v. Rasheed Wallace Ad. Wallace DET
C Dwight Howard v. Chris Webber Ad. Howard ORL
Prediction – Pistons in 4
Cleveland-Washington – Washington’s been decimated by injuries. With their players all in tact, we don’t play them first round we play the Nets, which would be scary. So thank you to Gil Arenas for getting hurt. This should be a laugher, but Mike Brown coaches the Cavs, so keep the money in your pocket. If all goes like it should in this one, Washington will be looking for another new team name, my suggestion, the Secret Service Agent Zeros.
PG Antonio Daniels v. Larry Hughes Ad. Daniels WAS
SG Deshaun Stevenson v. Sasha Pavlovic Ad. Pavlovic CLE
SF Lebron James v. Jarvis Hayes Ad. James times 100 CLE
PF Antawn Jamison v. Drew Gooden . Ad. Jamison (based on numbers) WAS
C Etan Thomas v. Zydrunas Ilgauskas Ad. Ilgauskas CLE
Prediction – Cavs in 5
New Jersey-Toronto – On the one hand, the Nets are playing well and have a couple future Hall Ring wearers. On the other hand, the Raptors have Chris Bosh and an interesting style of play. On the third hand, the Nets have been playing similarly to the Raptors lately and winning. What’s that mean? It means that both teams like to run, so the game will come down to who executes when the opportunity to run isn’t there. Plus, in the playoffs, if you have a point guard you win. Jason Kidd is a great point guard, so here’s my upset special. The Nets take down the Raptors and, by the way, give the Cavs hell in round two. I mean, come on Toronto, you’re starting Anthony Parker who’s not even the best basketball player in his FAMILY because his little sister Candace is a stud.
PG Kidd v. TJ Ford Ad. Kidd (one day TJ) NJ
SG Vince Carter v. Parker Ad. Carter (never Anthony) NJ
SF Richard Jefferson v. Joey Graham Ad. Jefferson NJ
PF Mikki Moore v. Chris Bosh Ad. Bosh, big time TOR
C Jason Collins v. Rasho Nesterovic Ad. Nesterovic TOR
Prediction – Nets in 6 (It’s interesting, either team could get hot and sweep this series)
Chicago-Miami – I didn’t know who to put first in this one because up till now the lower seed has been the first named team, but it’s also been the worse record of the two. Well David Stern IS NOT an idiot so here Chicago has the better record, but the higher (or is it lower) seed. They are 5 and Miami is 4, to be clear. Miami has hot ladies, Chicago has cold weather. Miami has Shaq and Wade, Chicago will be visiting Miami and wading in the pool before going to stay in the shack, ok that makes no sense. Intriguingly, lots of pundits (uh oh, there’s that word again) think that Miami will win here and go on to take down the Pistons. I don’t think so, scooter. But I could be wrong, though I’m no pundit. Thanks again, Chicago, for dropping the number two seed like it was hot. Your implosion will be compensated with Lebron James in a few years so get over yourselves and stop acting like martyrs. You’re worse than the Rutgers women’s basketball team, and that is in no way meant to be insensitive. The issue behind the statement is the concern, not the object of the statement, but this is another story. It’s similar though Chicago, it’s not you that matters now, it’s the Cavs. So enjoy your seat watching us lose to the Western Conference Champion in the Finals. It could’ve been you, kids; it could’ve been you.
PG Kirk Hinrich v. Jason Williams Ad. Hinrich CHI
SG Ben Gordon v. Dwayne Wade Ad. Wade MIA
SF Luol Deng v. Eddie Jones Ad. Deng CHI
PF PJ Brown v. Udonis Haslem Ad. Haslem MIA
C Shaquille O’Neal v. Ben Wallace Ad. O’Neal MIA
Prediction – Heat in 5
Ok folks, there you have it. Predictions from all 8 first round series in the NBA. We’ll be back in a couple of weeks to brag about how wrong I was!
Be well.
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04.18.07
Posted in Life, Television, Sports, JD at 2:11 pm by jd
A little bit of faith 10 days into Easter…
Weather
I believe the weather in Ohio will always be a mystery.
I believe 4 seasons are better than Sunny and 72 everyday.
I believe tornadoes are scary, but the thunderstorms that produce them are amazing.
I believe that bare trees contribute to depression.
I believe in 76 degrees Tuesday, 25 and rain Wednesday with a tornado, 18 inches of snow Thursday, & 40 degrees with rain showers Friday.
I believe clouds make shapes on purpose and low lying fog is irrational.
I believe if there is a dry heat there should also be a wet cold.
I believe a beautiful day is a perfect opportunity to sit inside and watch the game.
I believe in mud, grass stains and the power of Tide.
Religion
I believe everyone is entitled to his or her own and it doesn’t make them wrong, it (sometimes) makes them different, which also doesn’t make them wrong.
I believe Scientologists are out of their minds, and that’s ok.
I believe extremists are confused, but loyal.
Sports
I believe a shortstop fielding a ground ball is the most beautiful play in sports.
I believe Don Imus was wrong and was entitled to be.
I believe Kobe Bryant will make the shot.
I believe the Browns will improve in two years.
I believe Randy Moss is a good guy.
I believe Mark Price is the most underappreciated pure point guard of all time.
I believe in the right to boo.
I believe in clapping for an injured player.
I believe in applauding college kids on the other team that make a great play.
I believe in scheduled doubleheaders.
I believe the NBA is streetball, NOT basketball.
I believe if there aren’t enough black coaches, there aren’t enough white athletes.
I believe good pitching always beats good hitting.
I believe Defense Wins Championships.
I believe in the golden goal and not shootouts.
I believe Turkey Bowl is a universal term.
I believe Joey Crawford should be banned for having bias.
I believe officials in all sports are the worst culprits of nepotism.
I believe sports can heal a city, team or school.
I believe your parents only want to see you do your best.
I believe the right to play games belongs to adults too.
Etc.
I believe Ari will be Vince’s agent again.
I believe JR shot himself on accident and Maggie shot Mr. Burns on purpose.
I believe e-cards should be funny and forwards should be outlawed.
I believe ex-girlfriends are evil.
I believe we sleep in the beds we make (or don’t make).
I believe every employer should give a 30 minute paid naptime to boost production.
I believe your mind is what makes you ill.
I believe JD and Elliot (Scrubs) are the new Ross and Rachel
I believe everything happens for a reason.
I believe you get what you pay for.
I believe that you are what you see in those closest to you.
I believe everyone can do what they want in life, it’s up to them to pursue it.
I believe it’s never too late to change.
I believe in writing out thoughts.
I believe in befriending our fears and chasing our dreams.
I believe our best friends are the ones we don’t have to talk to.
I believe family comes first; girlfriends/boyfriends aren’t near the top.
I believe if you are going to do something, do it 100%.
I believe in lists.
I believe if you don’t agree, you and I can still get along.
Be Well.
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04.17.07
Posted in Life, Television, News, The Diesel at 7:50 pm by Diesel The
I just wanted to share with you what I felt was an incredibly moving quote from Poet Nikki Giovanni, a professor and the final speaker at the Virginia Tech memorial service today. This is taken from an article at CNN.com, the full text of which can be found here. I just felt they merited repeating.
“We are sad today, and we will be sad for quite a while . . . We are not moving on. We are embracing our mourning. We are Virginia Tech . . . We are strong enough to stand tall tearlessly. We are brave enough to bend to cry, and sad enough to know we must laugh again.“
Since this is technically a sports and entertainment blog, I’ll leave you with, in my opinion, is one of the most moving moments in television history, and, sadly, all too appropriate due to yesterday’s events.
What follows is a speech President Bartlet gives after an attack on a fictional college campus in an episode from season 4 of The West Wing. Change a few words and he could be talking about what transpired at Virginia Tech yesterday.
“‘Joy cometh in the morning,’ scripture tells us. I hope so. I don’t know if life would be worth living if it didn’t. And I don’t yet know who set off the bomb at Kennison State. I don’t know if it’s one person or ten, and I don’t know what they want. All I know for sure, all I know for certain, is that they weren’t born wanting to do this. There’s evil in the world, there’ll always be, and we can’t do anything about that. But there’s violence in our schools, too much mayhem in our culture, and we can do something about that. There’s not enough character, discipline, and depth in our classrooms; there aren’t enough teachers in our classrooms. There isn’t nearly enough, not nearly enough, not nearly enough money in our classrooms, and we can do something about that. We’re not doing nearly enough, not nearly enough to teach our children well, and we can do better, and we must do better, and we will do better, and we will start this moment today! They weren’t born wanting to do this.
“…More than anytime in recent history America’s destiny is not of our own choosing. We did not seek nor did we provoke an assault on our freedoms and our way of life. We did not expect nor did we invite a confrontation with evil. Yet the true measure of a people’s strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arrive. Forty-four people were killed a couple hours ago at Kennison State University; three swimmers from the men’s team were killed and two others are in critical condition. When after having heard the explosion from their practice facility they ran into the fire to help get people out…ran into the fire. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight. They are our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels, but every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we’re reminded that that capacity may well be limitless. This is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard. We will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars. God bless their memory, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America. Thank you.”
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04.10.07
Posted in Television, Judi C at 8:48 pm by judic
Also, am I breaking a rule? Am I supposed to post on alternative days like the third Wednesday or something? Ok, whatever. Let’s consider my first post like the first pancake that, though delicious, just looks like a complete and utter mess.
Let me start by saying that Boy Meets World is a really good show. It is, it’s a really good show. I mean, what other early-mid nineties sitcom started out with a simple story of a 6th grade boy trying to navigate suburban Philadelphia and things like hormones, first kiss, your friends being stupid, your parents don’t understand why you’d rather be in a water gun fight than help them paint the stupid fence to tackling really hard-hitting topics. Stuff like “When your best friend comes from a trailer park and your house is nice and stationary” and “When your best friend joins an icky cult only to be pulled out of the icky cult when the young, ‘hip’ teacher who took him in when his parents abandoned him then gets into a motorcycle accident and hovers close to death” (wow, a lot of stuff happened to Shawn), etc. etc.
I watch Boy Meets World while I’m getting ready for work in the morning, and yes, I am an adult and have a real job. And before you judge me any further, let me just point out that I basically grew up with this show and it’s probably the equivalent of my mother’s obsession with Leave it to Beaver, which for all intents and purposes has even less cultural value than that episode when Cory learns about self-image after a bad hair-straightening experiment (and who hasn’t been there)
Now that this embarassing little nugget about my daily routine is out in the webverse, let me get to the point. Boy Meets World is on ABC Family channel which has decided to start its own original programming. There was that show with the love triangle and horses which I’m pretty sure was made for my thirteen year old self (and no, I don’t watch it. Yet) and that one with the family and the dad’s a cop and stuff happens basically because another writer wanted to use the word “Heights” in their show title. All easily ignored.
Except Falcon Beach.
I tried, I really did. But I cannot stop laughing about Falcon Beach. First of all, that title is AMAZING. “We need something sharp and fierce. A beach named after an animal that inspires fear and AWE. FALCON.” I’ve been referencing Falcon Beach at work because I just love saying the words, “OMG, so I was watching Falcon Beach last night and-” Seriously, try it. Bring it up at lunch tomorrow.
And the promos…sweet Jesus. Can you please stop force-feeding us these shows about “hot teenagers on the beach”? Please? It’s not working, people. They all look exactly the same and why aren’t any of these kids at school? The OC, Summerland, that show that was supposed to be Melrose Place in Hawaii, that show about surfers in Hawaii, all those “reality” shows about kids in Laguna- ENOUGH. Yes, we get it. Hot people in bathing suits are hot. Didn’t we really learn that lesson from Baywatch? Isn’t that class over? Can I blue card my way into a different one please?
I feel like this Falcon Beach one can’t actually be real. I mean, seriously. The commercials are completely hilarious. They can’t seem to find a shot of their star, Jennifer Kydd, where she doesn’t have a bewildered look on her face. Literally, every bland, uber-tanned hot body that turns to tell her something “sew dramatic and shocking” gets the same response. And then they toss in a bonfire and shots of kids who should be learning to read, making out and leaving rooms in a huff.
I implore you to visit the website. It’s fantastic. www.falconbeach.ca
Falcon Beach
Go now, run, run to them, to those lovelies at FALCON BEACH. Honestly, you want a good soap opera? I suggest investing in Cory and Topanga instead (will she go to Yale? Will they be broken up by Linda Cardinelli posing as a winsome ski bunny? Will they stay together for the entirety of at least ONE season? OMG, they’re getting married? They’re babies!)
That’s it, I’m done. First crappy pancake, I release you. Go forth and ruin my reputation.
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Posted in Television, Big D at 11:47 am by Big D
I have no interest in watching American Idol - in fact, I think it’s a big scam… In general all but maybe two of the “top” singers blow. This seems to be quite the oddity when you can go to the auditions for any decent musical and find a dozen people who can sing circles around the Idol douches.
This is precisely why you need to Vote For Sanjaya! Boy are some of the fans getting pissed about this movement… There’s not anything much funnier than a bunch of retards getting upset about some money-making machine that they believe to be an honest, genuine talent search.
It’s all smoke, mirrors and bullshit, idiots.
You don’t even have to watch the show (I don’t): just stop by howardstern.com or votefortheworst.com and you’ll find the call in number as soon as it’s available.
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04.03.07
Posted in Sports, The Diesel at 12:40 am by Diesel The
2007 is not the Year of The Diesel.
At least Entourage is back on Sunday.
I need another beer.
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