02.27.07
Oscar’s 2007 (or is it 2006?)
My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R.The Oscars- An awards show named after a company that produces a sandwich meat that is hodgepodge of animal organs, trimmings and end pieces. Nice. Seriously, Who watches these award shows? You’ve seen the movies (or can go out and rent them) and you can decide for yourself who the best boy grip was (Diesel, The in The Man with One Hand) and movie score ( Jack Nicholson/ Kathy Bates in About Schmitt…sike). Who are these committees of people we’ve never seen or heard of to tell us who is who in Hollywood? In the words of the great James Vulmer “I mean, Come on!” Let’s face it, 90% of the show is crap. Here are the categories that anyone cares about (and even then who can tell us who is better than someone else in a different role)- Best Actor/tress, Best Movie and that’s it.
Oh, and by the way, Lifetime Achievement awards are for people who they feel sorry for that have done a TON of work and haven’t really received the recognition for it because it’s crap. They should just change it to the Brendan Fraser Award.
Did I watch the Oscars? Umm….No. I was too busy liberating the planets of Mustafar, Mygetto, Utapau, Kashyyyk, Kamino, Naboo and Hoth from Battle Droid and Rebel Armies, not to mention defeating escaped rogue Jedi along the way, all in an effort to construct a unified Galactic Empire under the directionof Lord Vader. In the 3 hours it took to dole out those awards that no one will remember next year, I obtained 7 Planets, 1500 kills and a General status- Where’s my Award? Oscars Committee, Film Actors Guild (F.A.G. taken from Team America) and any other award bearing associations, take note of how constructive I was during the time you were destroying the careers of those who didn’t win and the minds of those who will forget. Why? Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.
MTK said,
February 28, 2007 at 9:14 pm
I like where your heads at…instead of the Oscar’s, I watched Oprah save some little African from AIDS. It was amazing television.